Detail from Yasuragi's quilt
UPDATE: We are doing well on messages but are behind $261 for the number we currently have.
If you have ever had the pleasure of meeting TrueBlueMajority in person, you know that she has about her a vibrant aura of pure, unconditional love. Her smile has the warmth of a beautiful summer day, and her voice is soft and sweet, drawing you in to listen. She is a minister by profession, a perfect vocation for someone who projects such nurturing love along with humility and grace. Immediately upon meeting her, one is struck with the fact that she is a radiantly beautiful human being. Knowing this is how she is, it seems so sad, so wrong, so upside-down and in-side-out that TrueBlueMajority carries within her a deep, abiding grief that has held her in a tight grip for over eight years, ever since her mother died. And it hurts her terribly, this grief, to the point of sobbing. She writes about this pain often in The Grieving Room on Monday nights. This past Monday, she wrote this:
I have been struggling mightily. After going quite a while without one, I have had three crying spells in the last nine days. I know that's not very often compared to the people whose grief is new. But I was honestly beginning to feel like I was getting past the gut-wrenching tears stage, so this feels like a real backslide. I am embarrassed to still be crying like this after this many years. Even though I would never say this to anyone else about their grief, I feel like mine being so stretched out is a sign of my essential brokenness.
I fear my whole life is being defined by grief. By what I lost. By what I don't have. By what I only had for a short time before illness took her from me. By all the years of estrangement from my mom that I still blame myself for, even though my reasons at the time made sense.
In recent days my heart has been feeling very tender. Triggers I used to be able to brush off are cutting more deeply all of a sudden. A casual word. A song on the radio. A scene from a movie. Glimpsing my face in a mirror.
People talk a lot about their immune systems during cold and flu season. I wonder if there is an emotional immune system, and I have depleted it by shutting myself up in my apartment during this string of cold and stormy days.
If we, as a community, put our arms around this remarkable woman and tell her how much we love her, it cannot but help her heal. Part of the pain she suffers is a feeling of being alone in this persistent grief. Perhaps we can beef up her "emotional immune system" and give her heart the space and support it needs to heal. We can put our loving words in a community quilt that will be a constant reminder of how much TBM is loved and appreciated. Any time she wraps up in it, she will know we care deeply about her and wish her deep comfort and inner peace.
Cedwyn's quilt, showing the butterfly backing that she chose for it
What is a community quilt? It is a colorful quilt that includes message of love and support from you, transcribed by me in archival ink on muslin. It is a warm blanket that radiates love, love that cannot wash out, ever.
Yasuragi's quilt. The constellation of Orion is traced in quilting in the center block, the stars marked by crystal beads.
It takes time and material to make a community quilt and it is a living for me and my sister. If you would like to contribute toward the cost of this quilt, here is a PayPal button -- or message me for an address if you prefer a check. $15/message is suggested but some kind people give more to cover for messages from those who cannot afford to donate. All messages are welcome regardless of donation. This is a crowdfunded thing and it always works out in the end!
A detail of Cedwyn's quilt top
We have caught up with our outstanding quilts except for MrsBadger's who is grieving the death of her husband, longtime kossack badger. We still need at least nine messages for her -- and the quilt is completely funded. So please go here to leave a message if you have not already. Thank you!
Another detail from Cedwyn's quilt -- the peace sign fabric was from the backing of Ben Masel's quilt
This is the body of work of the Community Quilt Project so far:
1. othniel (cellulitis and ensuing complications, RIP)
2. exmearden (cancer of heart and lung, RIP)
3. MsSpentyouth (brain tumor)
4. Moe99 (lung cancer, RIP)
5. Michelle Caudle (ovarian cancer, RIP)
6. BFSkinner (lupus)
7. Kitsap River (long wait for kidney donor that ended 2/18/11)
8. Frederick Clarkson (blood clots)
9. Dreaming of Better Days (lymphoma)
10. one bite at a time (lost house and belongings to fire)
11. Timroff (cellulitis)
12. Sol Fed Joe (multiple cancers and health problems)
13. Brubs (AIDS, immune reconstitution syndrome)
14. rserven (gall bladder infection with dangerous complications)
15. grndrush (brain tumor, RIP)
16. ImpeachKingBushII (needs liver transplant)
17. andsarahtoo (lupus)
18. Frank Cocozzelli (muscular dystrophy)
19. luvsathoroughbred (breast cancer)
20. Predictor (stroke and HIV)
21. Austex54 (caretaker to othniel)
22. Theodore Olbermann, RIP
23. cskendrick (antibiotic resistant infection)
24. Keith Olbermann (caregiver to father)
25. Juan (cancer, RIP)
26. Ana (a young horse belonging to Juan, hit by truck)
27. MA Liberal’s mother (Alzheimer’s)
28. Charles CurtisStanley (caretaker to Kitsap River)
29. Lorikeet (cervical cancer)
30. Dr. Lori (metastatic cancer)
31. ulookarmless (cancer, heart condition, stroke, RIP)
32. riverlover (caregiver to husband suffering from liver failure, now widowed)
33. Melody Townsel (caregiver to dying father, now deceased)
34. dadanation (AIDS)
35. Dr. William F. Harrison (leukemia, RIP)
36. Larry Bailey (sudden loss of partner to heart attack)
37. ramara (adopted son with fetal alcohol syndrome)
38. Noor B (herniated disk from car accident)
39. Louisiana 1976 (fibromyalgia, severe arthritis, depression)
40. stumpy (MS, stroke, RIP)
41. bleeding heart's niece (cancer, RIP)
42. escapee (failure of corneal surgery)
43. SarahLee (lymphoma, Lyme Disease)
44. Bustergirl (ovarian cancer)
45. mimi's niece (cancer, RIP)
46. ZenTrainer (breast cancer)
47. Miss Blue (severe injury to shoulder, anxiety over coverage for surgery)
48. Granny Doc (bladder cancer, RIP)
49. mango (heart attack)
50. nudger (ovarian cancer, RIP)
51. DaNang65 (heart condition)
52. Lt. Choi (exhaustion)
53. Nurse Kelley (spinal stenosis)
54. Ben Masel (lung cancer, RIP)
55. Otterary Scribe (caregiver, grieving grandfather, grieving widower)
56. Aji (autoimmune diseases incl. fibromyalgia, inflammatory arthritis, & Chronic Epstein-Barr Virus Syndrome)
57. JaxDem (suddenly widowed)
58. DavidW (AIDS and other undiagnosed illness)
59. Jester the Marine (facing amputation of leg)
60. peregrine kate (endometrial cancer)
61. mimi (grief due to family illnesses)
62. alliedoc (endometrial cancer, RIP)
63. labwitchy (diffuse scleroderma)
64. Daily Kos (celebrating community)
65. belinda ridgewood (sudden loss of her mother)
66. princesspat (blood clots, deep vein thrombosis)
67. Scott Olsen (severe head injury)
68. SensibleShoes (caring for sister with brain cancer)
69. Joanna (cancer)
70. cany (grieving caretaker of mother with dementia)
71. Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse (breast cancer)
72. Scottie Thomaston (intense chronic pain from spine, kidney stones)
73. paradise50 (throat cancer)
74. woodtick (caregiver to mother with Alzheimer's)
75. BeninSC (mulitple fractures from bicycle accident)
76. Adrian (colon cancer)
77. Smoh (breast cancer, stroke, depression)
78. slksfca (sudden onset of arthritis requiring hip replacement)
79. arizonablue (grief and exhaustion)
80. Lorikeet (grieving widow - this quilt was a gift from the Rescue Rangers)
81. remembrance (breast cancer) and Glen the Plumber (her caregiver)
82. MassHarry (colon cancer, RIP)
83. Regina in a Sears Kit House (severe immune problems from Lyme Disease)
84. nannyboz (grief for father, crippling back pain requiring surgery)
85. raina (grief)
86. earicicle (breast cancer)
87. AntKat (cancers of the throat, RIP)
88. Alma (breast cancer)
89. DarkHawk98 (lung cancer)
90. llbear (brittle diabetic)
91. michelewin (grief and trauma)
92. Dave in Northridge (grieving widower)
93. racheltracks (complications from knee surgery)
94. Ebby (grief and stress)
95. Leaves on the Current (cancer)
96. Carol in San Antonio (cancer)
97. commonmass (grieving widower)
98. Clytemnestra (DES daughter, debilitating abdominal pain and bleeding)
99. Oke (survived life threatening pulmonary infection, COPD, depression)
100. shanikka (diverticulitis, intestinal abscess and life threatening infection)
101. Serpents Choice (grief)
102. smarx (caregiver to mother who has dementia)
103. FloridaSNMOM (COPD, chronic pain, anxiety over access to health care)
104. Timaeus (enormous hernia requiring major surgery)
105. paradox (cyclic vomiting syndrome, PTSD, depression)
106. UnaSpenser (Lyme Disease)
107. LoreleiHI (reversals of fortune, homelessness, hearing loss, PTSD)
108. Vetwife (caregiver to husband and other family members)
109. namvetkato (PTSD, Agent Orange related illnesses including heart disease, spinal stenosis, and intense chronic pain)
110. Annalize5 (lung cancer, diabetes and other chronic ailments)
111. The Packhorse (heart disease and diabetes) and irishwitch (caregiver)
112. Phil N DeBlanc (grieving widower)
113. hopeful (breast cancer)
114. 2thanks (caregiver to wife)
115. Unit Zero (throat cancer)
116. triciawyse (childhood abuse survivor, seizure disorder, sadness, reversal of fortunes)
117. newpioneer (grieving the passing of his husband, Juan)
118. high uintas (sister is slipping into dementia)
119. Meteor Blades (a tribute -- there was a heart attack, too but this is really a tribute!)
120. winglion (survived sepsis), quilt made by Pam from Calif
121. edgery (broken ankle and finger, both required surgery)
122. PerfectStormer (renal failure, in need of kidney transplant)
123. Cedwyn (cancer, RIP)
124. Yasuragi (chronic pain and feelings of depression)
See also these three posts about the community quilt project:
KosAbility: A Virtual Quilt for Sara and Ann, from Community Quilt recipients
We Have Something to Say to YOU, Sara R and winglion!
Community Quilt FlashMob Brightens up NN13
Community Quilt Testimonial Videos
remembrance
ramara
paradise50
shanikka
cskendrick
PerfectStormer's quilt -- how he loves it!
These quilts are planned. If you would like to propose someone for a quilt, just drop me a line.
ruleoflaw (kidney failure requiring harsh steroid treatment)
byardl (fibromyalgia, pnuemonia, widow)
dangoch (newly widowed)
MA Liberal (caretaker to her mother who has dementia)
Ellinorianne (rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia)
MsGrin (life long heart problems requiring multiple surgeries)
My sister with her quilt, made by Pam from Calif
PAYPAL LINK FOR TRUEBLUEMAJORITY'S QUILT - THANK YOU!
Boots says, "Thank you for supporting community quilts!"
Namaste.