Senator Tom Coburn's magnificent and unassailable disproval of so-called 'climate change' or 'global warming' by finding a snowball in winter was actually but one of a breathtaking portfolio of groundbreaking discoveries made by this Isaac Newton of our New Scientificishy Age. Here is a list of world-shaking discoveries made by this penetrating, wide-ranging intellect in only one single evening!
Coming home after a long donor-paid dinner capping a grueling day of obstructing mental health care for veterans and finding out that his home had light inside in the night-time, he proved not only that darkness doesn't exist and night-time is a myth, but that sun-god-things live inside peculiar bulb-shaped glass devices.
Noticing that his own pantry and refrigerator were full--and this after a restaurant meal that cost more than a teacher would get paid for a week--he could only conclude that 'world hunger' was a cruel hoax perpetrated by greedy aid agencies.
Turning on his TV set he found himself looking at Fox News. The conclusion this led him to was inescapable: there is nothing else on TV. Hannity mentioning his name favorably counted as peer review to this world-shaking finding.
The Burwell decision was mentioned. This caused him to think about all those who some said might die if they lost their health insurance. But that notion was an obvious red herring, a liberal lie of the foulest sort. He had health care, and was quite healthy himself, so no one else really needed any help. Besides, he was a Doctor. He was used to seeing people die--even expected it. As long as they paid his bills first then it was just fine for Jesus to take them.
When Coburn was able to fill his bathtub with clean water of his preferred temperature it became obvious that any talk about water pollution or water shortages was nothing more than anti-corporate propaganda promulgated by eco-terrorists.
Putting on his clean Koch Industries 'Clean Coal Charlie' cartoon character flannel PJ's before going to bed in his nice warm house provided the final proofs that everyone--and most certainly the poor--had adequate clothing and housing; in the unlikely event anyone did not, they chose to go naked and live in a cardboard box in attempt to blackmail or embarrass their betters.
He could not see the Moon out his window. This reinforced his certainty that the Apollo missions were a Hollywood hoax, and that tides were caused by some more logical mechanism, such as the force of God inhaling and exhaling.
Composing himself to sleep he meditated on the fundamental fairness of his getting paid a lot of money to be part of democratic government he was morally and financially bound to obstruct, denigrate and destroy, and this proved a point only the most obtuse could contest: his conclusions were correct, and all other opinions were nothing but the work of crackpots, paid shills, and liars.