Last night I ended a friendship with a guy I thought I knew fairly well over his insensitive and actually racist comments to me about a black football player.
I've known this dude since we served in the U.S. Air Force at Hill AFB back in the early 1990s. He's white, I'm black. He was raised in Pennsylvania. I'm a native Texan. He's a Philadelphia Eagles fan. I'm a Dallas Cowboys lifer. In spite of those differences, we got to be pretty good friends...constantly woofing at each other about our teams and football in general.
Over the years, we've stayed in touch primarily through e-mail and an occasional phone call. Last night we were going back and forth via e-mail about his Eagles working out and possibly signing Tim Tebow.
I essentially ridiculed the Eagles for bringing in a quarterback who cannot throw. And this dude shoots me this in an e-mail:
"Why the sarcasm? If a team brings in gay, brings in a dog killer or franchises a mother beater that is acceptable or even praised for giving that member a second chance. When a team brings in someone who is a high visibility Christian who professes his faith, is an extremely high integrity individual and great person that is viewed with ignorance and sarcasm."
Of course the three players he was referring to were Michael Sam, Michael Vick and Dez Bryant--all black by the way.
I e-mailed him back:
"I never questioned Tebow's character. I just said he can't throw...which he can't. Two professions where you have to be able to throw: pitcher and quarterback."
At that point my man snapped and sent me this:
"And wide reciever...to be a franchise tagged WR you have to be able to slap yo mamma."
I get it. You have to be able to "throw" punches. But wow. Another jab at Dez Bryant, this time complete with ebonics.
I responded: "That makes no sense and plays to racial stereotyping. Can't believe you went there. Sure Dez was wrong to slap his mom, but using the term "slap yo mamma" to describe what he did crossed the line. You would not have used those terms had a white guy assaulted his mom."
He shot back: "Double standard again!! They are having a debate on CNN about the N-word tonight. There should be no debate. If a white uses the N-word they get castigated, if a black does that is OK. Riley Cooper used a despicable word, he apologized, yet it's still held against him. Jameis Winston used despicable words against all females, he apoologizes...no problem."
Huh? What? Last time I checked Winston is ridiculed and reviled at levels much higher than Cooper ever was. If anything, Cooper got a pass, while Winston is still battling for respect.
But at that point, I turned off my smart phone and stopped the e-mails because I was so shocked, disappointed and on the verge of anger. I have no plans to ever communicate with him again because I realize he was spewing all of the white resentment that he harbors and has probably harbored for years. Dude has some racial baggage that he dumped on me in a series of e-mails.
We went from Tim Tebow to double standards in America that he belives benefit black people. He stopped just short of saying black people skate and are never held accountable, but whites don't have that advantage. Talk about ignorant, self-pity.
Guess I don't understand why some whites get so upset about not being able to say the N-word because they hear some black rappers and comedians use it. Oh yeah, those are people I'm sure white folks want to emulate.
Don't get me wrong, I don't use the N-word and wish nobody did. But it's ridiculous to say there's moral equivalence between whites using that vile word and blacks using it. It's all about context and yes, in this case, the color or race of the person saying it absolutely matters.
As for my former friend, fortunately Trayvon Martin and Ferguson didn't come up in our conversation. I shudder to imagine what he thinks about those subjects. But I imagine he's glad he finally got his views about black people off his chest to somebody black, but effective immediately he'll have to find another "black friend" to spew it at.