Kai Mackenzie has two children. Both were assigned male at birth...but that didn't take.
As a parent, Kai McKenzie admits it took years to understand what it meant to raise a transgender child. Kai’s oldest, Elsa, was assigned male at birth but began rejecting that identity at just two years old.
When I told her she was a boy she just screamed, ’No!’” Kai said. “I still didn’t get it.
--Kai
From age two until age 8, Kai's oldest child would draw pictures of herself as a girl...and chose to dress as a girl when she could.
Kai says Elsa eventually refused to go to the bathroom and, at 8 years old, began showing signs of physical sickness when gender conversations came up.
She started increasingly just breaking down any time anyone called her a boy. I mean, just collapsing and sobbing. She came to me and said, ‘If I’m a boy, why is there no one like me? There must be something wrong with me. I wish I didn’t exist.’ And those words. Those words are a wake-up call to any parent.
--Kai
So last year the Mackenzie family embraced Elsa as a girl.
But there was also Sky.
Sky was assigned male at birth but is increasingly saying, ‘Don’t use those male pronouns on me. I haven’t figured this stuff out yet.
--KaiThe family moved to Boulder Valley because the district was known to be accepting of transgender kids. But things didn't start out on the good side when the McKenzie kids were enrolled in Creekside Elementary in February.
The children started teasing both Elsa and Sky about being [gender-variant] because no adult was actually standing up and saying, ‘This is gender queer. This is what it means. It’s in the middle. It’s beautiful.’ The children didn’t know.
--Kai
Kai wrote a children's story,
Raven's True Self and a lesson plan for the school, hoping to provide education for both the students and the teachers, but it was rejected.
For us the experience was, ‘Oh, you’re not really welcome here. We don’t want your story. In fact, Elsa’s teacher told me in an email, ‘We don’t teach about transgender identity in second grade.’
--Kai
So Kai filed a federal civil rights complaint. (There is video at the link.) That complaint hasn't yet been officially accepted by the Office of Civil Rights, but the school district is taking action.
As soon as I put in that complaint (the district) found the funding in two days to train staff.
--Kai
So there will be an extension of staff training this summer to better support transgender and gender questioning students.
With the number of employees we have and the number of schools, we probably have varying levels of comfort and understanding around the issues. We want to make sure everyone, all of our staff, have the right level of support.
--Boulder Valley Superintendent Bruce Messinger