Bernie Sanders taught me how to read.
Bernie Sanders scored the game-winning goal for the U.S. against the Soviets in the 1980 Olympics.
Bernie Sanders won the Oscar for his performance in “My Left Foot.”
The Dos Equis guy? It’s just Bernie Sanders with his hair combed.
Bernie Sanders is Spartacus.
More Bern after the squiggle…
That old commercial for the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? “You got chocolate in my peanut butter…” Nah. It was Bernie Sanders in his candy lab who came up with that concoction.
Bernie Sanders taught me how to love a woman. Sure, it felt creepy at the time, but the
lessons I learned from him have lasted me decades.
Bernie Sanders proposes spending a trillion dollars on infrastructure and offering everyone “free” college tuition. If there’s anything I know about the average American,
it’s that he yearns to pay higher taxes.
Bernie Sanders taught me how to throw a knuckleball.
Bernie Sanders played lead guitar on “Stairway to Heaven.”
Who can make the sun rise? Bernie Sanders. And he sprinkles it with the dew off his silver mane.
Bernie Sanders served as Hogwarts Headmaster from 1962-1984. He came close to getting to the core of Tom Riddle’s pain but ultimately came up short. But damn it, he tried.
Bernie Sanders’ flatulence smells of roast coffee and vanilla.
Who could forget Bernie Sanders’ emotional address to the nation after Abe Lincoln was assassinated?
Grumpy Cat just endorsed Bernie Sanders.
Bernie Sanders plans on being his own running mate because who else could measure up? Plus, that way, the ticket will appear to be half as old.