Cliff notes from today's press conference.....
Today the Donald pledges allegiance to the flag wait scratch that, the Republican Party and wants you to know that hispanics love him the most-est and he will fuck you up on the golf course.
1. The RNC has been extremely fair lately.
2. "All i've ever wanted was fairness from the Republican Party."
3. "The best way for the GOP to win is if I win the nomination that's why I have signed the pledge."
4. "I pledge allegiance to the Republican Party and to the conservative principles for which is stands."
5. "We will make our country great again, any questions?"
6. I don't want money.
7. I got nothing for signing the pledge except to be treated fairly.
8. I see no circumstance for which I would rip up the pledge.
9. "We're a nation that speaks English, and while we're in this nation, we should speak English."
10. We can't have people come illegally we cannot allow that.
11. Our southern border is a total mess.
12. Many of the people in this audience have apologized to me.
13. "I win at golf, I win at golf that I can tell you."
14. If I didn't bring up the subject of illegal immigration, no one would care about it.
15. Tom Brady is a great friend of mine, he's a very good friend of mine. Did I mention he's a friend of mine?
16. Obamacare is a distaster.
17. Our Army is in the worst shape of it's history.
18. Hillary Clinton is the worst Secretary Of State ever.
19. The Iran deal is going to lead to nuclear war.
20. "Say hello to Rosanna & Greg, great people."
21. "I'm not supposed to be running for office."
22. "China's leaders are much, much smarter than our leaders."
23. Jeb Bush is a very nice man but he's a fucking bore.
34. Jeb Bush is a bought off shill.
35. Anyone who attacks me will eat shit.
36. Nobody's putting up millions for me it's all my own money.
37. I turned down 5 million dollars.
38. Every negative ad about me is paid for by lobbyists.
39. Our country will be great again but right now we're sucking so bad.
41. Eleven is too many people for a debate.
42. In this building I have the largest bank in the world.
43. I love the Chinese, I love the Japanese, I love the Hispanics.
44. In the latest poll, Hispanics love me the most.
45. I'm going to get rid of Obamacare and replace it with something much better.
46. "Ladies and gentlemen here is your pledge."
47. Thank you.
48. WAIT! China is a bubble! It's a bubble!
49. Ok i'm done now for real, thank you.
50. Walks back to the mic, "Excuse me! Here is the speaker of the house of Indonesia, and he's here to do great things!!"
51. Ok thank you.
Trump Notes. We do the suffering so you don't have to.