In a shocking turn of evolutionary events, Griftasaurus palinii, considered banished to the ash heap of electoral relevance, has reappeared by the side of one Bloviasaurus trumpii. The latter, growing weary of hearing his own Brownian motion vocalizations (as, quite frankly, have all of us on the Craton), has turned to the former Quittersaur to enhance his Conservasaur street cred.
In a dubious Faustian bargain, B. trumpii has ceded some of his Realitysaurian cachet for to the screechy G. palinii, a move that has infuriated Conservasaurs and baffled pundits, but delighted those in the comedic arts. Meanwhile, G. palinii’s offspring continue their saurian shenanigans: assaulting others, reproducing at will, challenging authority, and bleating to anyone in the drainage basin who will still give them the geologic time of day.
Albertasaurus cruzii, who attributed his now-questionable rise to power to G. palinii’s influence, appears to have dodged an evolutionary bullet as the latter has turned her attentions to A. cruzii’s most vocal rival. Indeed, the fossil record will reflect that this decision will precipitate rapid extinction for B. trumpii, much as it did for the unfortunate McCainasaurus. Those touched by this Mesozoic Angel of Death suffer a slow but sure extinction.
While the return of the G. palinii fossil follies may delight us, observers are cautioned to utilize proper hearing protection to avoid bleeding from the ears, and to avoid direct contact with this creature’s venom, for which researchers have yet to find an antidote.