Mr. Trump, with these words you have defamed me and every other man. I was content to let that dumpster fire you call a presidential campaign thrash around in the middle of Main Street. I figured even a fool like you would eventually realize that the oxygen you've sucked out of the national debate couldn't feed the blaze much longer. However, it seems I have to come over and stomp you out. And I was having so much fun...
With your words, you've attempted to implicate all men as sex offenders in your sordid world. Well, I won't let you. I actually doubt you've even heard other men boasting about sexual assault, whether in a locker room or anywhere else. No one has to rely on the goodness of men's' hearts to realize this. There's a very good reason men don't talk like this, even the ones who are despicable enough to actually commit the crimes you took so much pride in (despite your non-apology). You see, admitting what you did means you've lost, given up because you can't attract women. When men boast about our sexual exploits, we're doing it for the same reason we tell fish tales or any other story (true or not): we want to gain the listeners' respect and admiration, or at least their camaraderie. A story about our latest sexual "conquest" isn't a story about conquest at all. It's about a particular sort of status, a status achieved by our ability to attract women. Notice that word again? “Attract” I didn't say "grab," you insufferable ass. What's the point? Why would any man want to boast about that? It's like boasting about cheating at a game of cards. Apart from being a signal that you don't understand that the fleshy beings walking around you are actual people, it proves that you don't even understand the game you're playing. Yes, Mr. Trump, you're a cheat; you've cheated on your wives, but even before that, before your first marriage, you were a cheat. And now you claim all men are cheats. After all, it was just a "locker room," even though it was a place of work.
What galls me is that your idiocy has infected us all. It's compromised us unfairly in the eyes of some women, erroneously confirming their darker suspicions. But the anecdote of your feckless boasting isn't a statistic. It doesn't describe what most men think of women -- not any men I know. I've been in and around locker rooms for much of my life, first as a member of a track team, then as a (bad) football player, and for years after that as a member of several gyms, dojos, and kwoons. Most of the time these places could have been described as "male spaces"; few if any women were around. But not once did I hear anyone describe doing anything sexual against a woman's will. It was understood by everyone, no matter how early in my life, that the whole point of our stories was that women liked what we were doing with them. In fact, they loved it, because why bring it up otherwise? No matter how dirty the "locker room talk" got, that was the whole point. “A woman wanted to do this with me, fellas; what have you got? Nothing? I win.”
And that, Mr. Trump, is why you lose.