Some time back I wrote a surprisingly well-received post about my oldest child’s decision to come out as trans, and my own struggles with simply being a good father. I’m not going to go on long here but my oldest and I were discussing voting tomorrow and she said something to me and my wife I hadn’t well considered:
“That this is simpler for you. This election could literally decide whether this country believes I have the right to exist.”
It’s a stark assessment from someone so young and one I find horrifically unacceptable. I’m not in her shoes so she’s right — I hadn’t really considered it but the world she finds herself in is one of confusion, anger, and a world perhaps too connected with the volume at 11 to filter out the bogus from the real. Everyone has an opinion and believes they have the right to be listened to.
Aggressively.
Growing up I got to see the KKK in action. Up close. And as awful as they were they never denied the right of people NOT THEM to exist. They just wanted them to be ELSEWHERE. To be NIMBY. Some of there were this extreme but they never acted on it… mostly.
Well… sometimes. Too often in fact. I hate having to think about this stuff.
But it is NECESSARY to think about this stuff. I’m not a minority but my oldest child has become one and this world is so alien to me — but it’s all she knows. Yet another lesson in learning how to think again.
I hate this — that we’ve devolved to the point where the life of one of my children is being judged in such harsh terms by so many people. That so many people have grasped hate with everything they have, and that they vent this louder than ever.
My oldest child will vote. I am so proud of that. My oldest child is strong. I am so proud of that.
My oldest child has the very RIGHT to simply exist. To be. To pursue happiness — just like it’s written down someplace. To believe otherwise is to be at fault — no one is entitled to a different set of facts.
I worry that no matter what happens tomorrow we still lose, because we as a nation have lost the ability to respect the very presence of the other — the very thing we’re founded on. That some people are voting for the right to deny the existence of my oldest child. That this number is far too large.
I want to be optimistic. I really do. But I’m worried that I’ve lost that.