I’ve Had It!
Barney supporters are storming the PBS offices demanding a recount. Glued to their waistbands are tiny flox umbrellas. The Nebraska Hell-raising convention is off the rails. Flightless birds are jumping out of airplanes with parachutes on their backs, and the Democratic Rails Committee is off of theirs.
And the hallucinations! When will they start? I know I can’t take another day of grey lidded demagogues and oligarchs putting cinnamon in my tea and demanding I think like you. Only last century, (or was it the previous one?) there were jumbo Senators riding elephants through the frumptious prairies of our collective unconsciousness shouting their “calloos" and "callays" in the friptious breeze, only to be scattered on the winds of whoopee like that one thing over there.
It is far time to unkempt our butterish brouhas, and unleash them upon the rogue hordes of dangerous fanbois and purple construction workers.
And to that end, I have designated your fate, and now it shall be.