A day late and a dollar short, or a week late and seven dollars short, as the case may be. I’m sorry, I meant to write a diary last week (the Monday Night Cancer Club is supposed to publish the first Monday of each month), but going back to work has just been kicking my butt, and I come home every day and nap like an old lady. After taking a pain pill.
So, yeah, I fired my Oncologist. I like him too. He’s a very nice guy; has always been accepting of my choices for treatment and he’s friendly and caring. He’s not any easy doctor to get either. I work for a woman whose best friend has a son who is a hot shot Oncologist. She made him take me as a patient.
He has everything I look for in a doctor; he has practiced medicine in other countries, he’s open minded, personally interested in his patients, and he’s a Democrat. His office is in a very big practice in a hospital, but it’s also nice and the staff are kind. When I tell them that I’m already having a bad day and don’t want to add being weighed into the mix, they skip it. Some doctors argue with me about that part, but really, it doesn’t usually matter what I weigh on that particular day.
My doc doesn’t have a long wait time and there is a lady who goes around the waiting room with a cart passing out homemade breads, cake, or muffins. What’s not to like?
The problem I have with him is that he’s an Oncologist. A cancer doctor. I don’t want to have or need a cancer doctor. I’m tired of having cancer. I’m past the 5 year mark and the experience of a visit is not worth anything I could learn by going.
When I have an appointment with him, I go into some sort of fugue state. The last time I went I hit a car in the parking lot. The owners were standing right there and I didn’t hurt either car, but I was out of it mentally. No other doctor I see affects me this way.
At that last visit my doc was saying that, because I was at the 5 year mark, I only needed to come once a year now, rather than every 6 months. Since I had chosen a different path for treatment than most I wanted to keep a close eye on things. He was walking out the door as I said that and he responded gaily with a wave of the hand, “There’s nothing I’m doing here that will show me if you have cancer or not, but I’ll have them book you every 6 months”.
WTF? Why was I coming here then? He had also told me earlier in the conversation when I told him I still didn’t have insurance that they didn't care if I paid. “But, you send me bills”, I said. “Yeah, but we don’t care if you pay them” was his reply. You don’t care?!?! Then don’t send me a bill. It took six months of payments to pay off each visit with him.
I left his office and drove straight to my primary doctors office at a different hospital nearby. I was so spaced out. She (and my doctor has had cancer twice herself) told me she would spot my cancer before anyone else did, so if I didn’t want to I didn't need to go back to the oncologist.
Which is how I came to fire my Oncologist, even though I like him. I will be thrilled to run into him at a hardware store some day, but I hope to never have a reason to visit his office again.
What about you? How are you getting along with your Oncologist?
Monday Night Cancer Club is a monthly Daily Kos group for anyone who has cancer, has a loved one with cancer, or who has questions, issues, or information to share about cancer, including clinicians, researchers, or others who have a special interest and can help to educate our readers. We have many different members who fit all these categories, sometimes more than one at a time. Please share if you can, or just listen; there is plenty to learn just from reading our extensive catalogue of past diaries and postings. All are welcome to use this group as a resource. Volunteer diarists post the first Monday of each month between 7:30-8:30 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to cover physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. While most diaries focus on a specific topic or area relevant to cancer, each diary is also an Open Thread for sharing concerns, announcements, and information. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.
Anyone interested in writing a diary for the Monday Night Cancer Club please just let us know. We generally publish the first Monday of the month.