From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Presidents' Day Happy Fun Quiz
They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky. They're altogether ooky, the POTUS Family. Good luck!
1. Whose campaign featured log cabin-shaped bottles of whiskey from the E.C. Booz distillery, which is where the word "booze" comes from?
A) Jefferson B) W. H. Harrison C) Pierce D) Jackson
2. Who bet a full box of White House china in a poker game and lost?
A) Lyndon Johnson B) Buchanan C) Fillmore D) Harding
3. “There’s no reason why on the street today a citizen should be carrying loaded weapons” was said by which president?
A) Wilson B) Hoover C) Reagan D) Andrew Johnson
4. Whose cancerous growth, secretly removed while in office, is currently floating in a jar at Philadelphia's Mütter Museum?
A) Monroe B) Grant C) Wilson D) Cleveland
5. Which president called guns “an abomination” and also called for licensing of all hunting rifles and a ban on handguns---but only after he’d left office?
A) Nixon B) Eisenhower C) T. Roosevelt D) Washington
6. Who was criticized during his campaign for not drinking enough liquor?
A) Garfield B) Polk C) Hayes D) Carter
7. Who claimed that God didn’t intend for humans to travel on trains at the "breakneck speed" of 15 mph?
A) Van Buren B) Jefferson C) Washington D) Buchanan
8) Who did most Americans responding to a July, 2018 Pew poll name as the greatest president of their lifetime?
A) Kennedy B) Clinton C) Reagan D) Obama
9. Which president rescinded a previous president’s order that would have kept 75,000 people with mental disorders from being able to purchase a firearm?
A) Bush Jr. B) Trump C) Eisenhower D) Coolidge
10. Whose handshake was compared to "a wilted petunia?"
A) Taylor B) John Adams C) Benjamin Harrison D) Tyler
ANSWERS: B, D, C, D, A, B, A, D, B, C
SCORING: 10 = You're presidential material! 0-9 = Mistakes were made.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 18, 2019
Note: I just finished reading every entry in Wikipedia and there's still one thing I just don’t think I'll ever understand: wombat spleens.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Paul Manafort's prison sentence is revealed: 23
Days 'til the National Cherry Blossom Festival in D.C.: 30
Number of presidents born before the U.S. became a country: 8
Number of presidents who fought in the Civil War, all for the Union: 7
Number of presidents who worked as a janitor: 2 (Garfield, Lyndon Johnson)
Percent of Texas voters surveyed by PPP who say they'd vote for Senator John Cornyn (R) and Beto O'Rourke, respectively, if Beto challenges the incumbent next year: 47%, 45%
Percent of Americans who believe Trump should be impeached if the Mueller investigation proves he's guilty of obstruction of justice, according to a Washington Post poll: 65%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In case you missed it, the winner of the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show is…
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CHEERS to securing the homeland for liberty and freedom! I don’t know how much mobilizing you did over the weekend, but I can tell you that, thanks to my extraordinary leadership and self-starting skills, southern Maine is now fully engaged to deal with the National Emergency that President Trump executized on Friday.
Tin drive? Check. Tire drive? Check. Form letter in all the neighbors' mailboxes explaining why all their tin and tires suddenly vanished overnight? Check. Victory garden planted with over a dozen strains of herb, including Granny's Fuzzy Apple Cobbler and Super Lemon Haze? Check and check! But that's just the beginning. Our to-do list for this week also includes refurbishing of coastal watch towers, stringing of anti-submarine nets, duck-and-cover drills, new beanbag chairs for all the fallout shelters, concrete anti-camel traps at the New Hampshire border to stop any stray caravans, and later today: everyone in the greater Portland area gets a steel helmet with a spike on top. Until our next update: bye bye and BUY BONDS!
P.S. Sad to say, some areas of the republic aren’t faring so well:
Know hope!
JEERS to America: land of the guns, home of the gun nuts.
What happens in the wake of the massacre in Newtown Aurora Binghamton Tucson Santa Barbara Charleston Lafayette Roseburg Kalamazoo Orlando Alexandria Las Vegas Parkland Benton Pittsburgh Thousand Oaks etcetera etcetera etcetera Aurora, Illinois (6 killed, 5 wounded by a good guy with a gun right up until he became a bad guy with a gun) is depressingly predictable: The community will grieve. Gun control advocates will wisely suggest that this might be a good time to review our federal and state firearms policies so that our nation's shameful record of gun violence might be improved upon. The president and his minions will blame Democrats for the carnage and urge every living soul and their pets to arm themselves to the teeth, and insist it's "too soon" to talk about gun control as they continue scaring politicians into looking the other way by informing them that, "We'll be scoring you on your response." Like I said, predictable. Depressingly.
CHEERS to great discoveries. On this date in 1930, astronomer Clyde Tombaugh discovered a new "dwarf planet" waaaay out at the outer rim of our solar system. A few summers ago the New Horizons probe flew by and took some Polaroids, and you can keep track of its further adventures here. Here's a wild image from the Griffith Observatory that shows what the sphere (and its adorbs heart-shaped region) would look like if it was just a wee bit closer to earth:
By the way, Tombaugh called it “Pluto.” Republican ideas called it “Home.”
JEERS to the preparing for The Apostrolypse. To help solve the mystery of how, exactly, one punctuates today's holiday, over the weekend I performed my annual ritual of consulting the blizzard of ads appearing in The Portland (Maine) Press Herald to get some clarity. This year's batch:
Mattress Firm: Presidents Day (last year it was President’s Day)
Macy’s: Presidents’ Day
JCPenney: Presidents’ Day
Sleep Number: Presidents Day
Goodwin's Chevrolet: Presidents' Day
Bedderrest: Presidents Day
Shifman Mattresses: Presidents’ Day
Hub Furniture: President's Day (Last year it was Presidents' Day)
LaZBoy: Presidents Day
Bernie & Phyl's Furniture: Presidents' Day
Sears: Presidents Day
Staples: Presidents' Day
A.C. Moore Arts and Crafts: Presidents Day
We trust this clears up any confusion for at least another year.
CHEERS to stalling for America's future. 178 years ago today, on February 18, 1841, the first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate began. It lasted until March 11. Naturally, for details on major historical events my go-to source is A History of Drinking (which includes a delightful Filibuster Cocktail):
This filibuster, though not the absolute first (it occurred in 1837), began over Senator Henry Clay’s bill to charter the Second Bank of the United States. Senator William King threatened a filibuster when Senator Clay tried to end debate via majority vote. King stated that Clay “may make his arrangements at his boarding house for the winter.” Other Senators sided with King, and Clay eventually backed down. The word “filibuster” was derived from the Dutch word meaning “pirate.”
One thing we'll never have to worry about---a politician running out of words.
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WE INTERRUPT C&J TO BRING YOU THE FOLLOWING
Please enjoy this brief Presidents’ Day Moment with Calvin Coolidge (right) and 15-year-old congressional page Chuck Grassley in the congressional fitness room:
Feel the burn.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR C&J ALREADY IN PROGRESS
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ZOOM ZOOM to little girls and boys in their internal-combustion toys. The 61st Daytona 500 happened yesterday. The event features professionals (including winner Denny Hamlin) expending a lot of fuel to go 'round and 'round in circles but not actually get anywhere, while occasionally bumping into walls and each other, catching fire and watching their wheels fly off, and if innocent bystanders get scraped up, well, that's rugged individualism, so no refunds. They shoulda called it the GOP 2018.
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Ten years ago in C&J: February 18, 2009
GULP!!! to Man on a Wire (with no net). As Robert Livingston said to George Washington after administering the oath of office in 1789: "It is done." President Obama signed the massive Economic Hair On Fire Bill yesterday, saying it marked "the beginning of the end." Journalist Ron Brownstein, who was really on a tear Sunday on Meet the Press, best describes the significance of that presidential signature:
"This bill was a presidency in a box. He achieved more of his aims in this single legislation than many presidents will achieve in an entire term. I mean, there is more new net public investment here on things the Democrats consider essential for long-term growth---like education, scientific research, alternative energy---than Bill Clinton was able to achieve in two terms."
Lest we forget, it bears repeating: the party who fostered the conditions that made this bill absolutely necessary is the same party that voted in lockstep against it. Will we ever trust the Greens again?
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And just one more...
CHEERS to a sure sign of spring. Pardon my French, but fuck the groundhog. (Oops…I think I just made Rick Santorum faint.) I feel warmer already, knowing that full-squad workouts for the Boston Red Sox started over the weekend. This year the operative word is "Twopeat Yeahhhhhhh!!!"
What’s the formula for repeating as World Series champion? No one has done it since the New York Yankees captured three straight crowns from 1998 to 2000.
If you’re Boston Red Sox president of baseball operations Dave Dombrowski, the secret to winning a title in consecutive seasons starts with bringing back almost the entire roster that defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers in the 2018 World Series. […]
Best-Case Scenario: The Red Sox pick where they left off at the end of 2018, everyone stays healthy, a closer emerges and they roll to another World Series title before the difficult financial decisions make Dombrowski break up his core prior to 2020.
If I understand the rules of baseball correctly, I believe what we're looking for is what's popularly known as stomping the other teams into the dirt on our way to the World Series. To coin a phrase, may Boston fans get bored with all the winning.
Oh, and Happy Birthday to Atrios the Baby Blue Cherub (aka Duncan Black), and many blessings on your "Heh indeedys." Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Markos Moulitsas' speech had a somewhat cooler reception. When he delivered a line sending greetings from Bill in Portland Maine, the room responded with tepid applause.
---CBS News
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