While sitting at the lights in my small rural town I saw a bumper sticker(image above), placed under the image of the American flag, on the window of the pick-up in front of me. It offended me on so many levels I felt like my head was going to explode. How can it even be legal to display something so obscene?
Once we went through the lights the pick-up turned into the bank which was also my destination and they pulled into the first teller spot, I pulled into the 2nd so we were now side by side. He was joking and laughing with the teller and had 2 beautiful boxers sitting on the seat next to him. I considered getting out of my car and walking to his window to tell him how offensive his bumper sticker was. But I didn’t. And it still bothers me that I was such a coward. I feel complicit because I was silent. I told myself that nothing I could say would make a difference and I would just bring negative attention to myself. I reminded myself that as a well known middle aged widow I need to be careful about who I alienate. The reasons (excuses) continued, you’re in business, you’re not suppose to get out of your car at the drive-through, I might upset the dogs, I might upset the tellers, I can’t reason with an idiot… The problem is I’m not afraid to speak out when I see something that is wrong. When I was a bar tender in the 70’s I did not allow racist or misogynist comments or jokes at my bar. When I was a substitute teacher I talked about racism and antisemitism to these children sheltered in the rural white enclave of this community. I speak out! But I didn’t. Why?
I don’t think I was afraid of this guy who was probably 10 years younger than me and looked 10 years older (teeth matter). I had the time unlike at the Dayton airport when a guy sporting a t shirt saying something about his gun and the 2nd amendment went past me too quickly to comment. The only other time that I held my tongue and it haunts me still was 30 years ago when at a Pizza Hut with my toddlers I saw a woman pour soda into a baby-bottle and give it to a toddler. Not my business. So I am left with the conclusion that my subconscious risk benefit analysis decided that it just wasn’t worth it. Which is really sad because it tells me that either I don’t think I can make a difference or I don’t think “this guy” is worth the effort or risk of trying. I don’t like feeling that way. If I see him again I will say something.