I had somehow hoped I would manage to go through life without encountering Bathroom discrimination. That hope was dashed here in the Shelter. For a period of about a week, staff got tired of having to open the locked staff/respite bathroom for me, and told me I’d either have to wait until they were ready to open it, or use the woman’s dorm bathroom (which is not ADA compliant, something I desperately need). The woman of the dorm made it abundantly clear that they did not want me going through their dorm to use the restroom (by show of hands, unanimous with everyone there). One made a grievance complaint.
One of the men also complained, saying that a genderqueer/intersex individual didn’t belong in either dorm, and would complain either way. (He was kicked out the next day, I was told for his transphobic language and rages. He has since been let back into the Shelter. I do not feel safe. The only bright spot there is how often he seems to have overnight passes out.)
During this time period, while a staff member apparently didn’t have time to unlock the bathroom door a few steps away, she did have the time to drag a stool over to the woman’s dorm door and tell me to sit there until the bathroom was available, as my waiting inside was unacceptable. I complained that this let everyone know about my bodily functions, and was an invasion of privacy. I believe that lead to the resolution a few days later.
While the situation has been resolved by the very simple method of leaving the bathroom unlocked, I’m still aware of how the staff and other clients feel about me. It isn’t pleasant.
I’ve now been here for four (4) weeks, and haven’t had any help with phone calls for housing opportunities, even though this is a Housing First shelter. I have no access to WiFi which would allow me to make calls myself using my software or hardware TTY on my cellphone (one of the reasons I maintain my old iPhone 6S). I have to keep my iPhone on Airplane mode most of the time, because it was hacked and most of the data I had banked was stolen overnight—I had to restart my cycle 2 weeks early (since I pay-as-you-go, no refund) to get access to data again. I’m rationing well—that was 2 weeks ago and I still have 3 gigs of the 6 gigs I get a month. Please understand why I won’t be able to check on this much (maybe once a day). An extra gig costs $10. I only get LTE service, which just isn’t fast enough for my TTY. I looked into a WiFi HotSpot, even the cheapest is way out of my price range.
Most of the staff refuses to even use the written Communication Log, citing busyness, that it takes too much time, or that they think I understand well enough without it (one who has been fired for other reasons opined that she didn’t think I was actually deaf). They literally hold it away from me or refuse to take it out. Sometimes it’s just not available, because upper staff forgets to return it to the desk after reviewing it. I carry a small notepad, but some refuse to use that on the grounds that it’s not the official Log (even though I’ve gotten permission to use it and tape the contents in). If I had access to the ever-present, but locked WiFi, I could use ava.me, a rather good machine-translation program. If they’re worried about other clients wanting access, or me getting access to classified files, it takes little time to set up a hidden guest network that’s password-protected (that would also benefit another person here who’s not a primary English speaker—there are similar programs to translate). There’s a petition, and has been for 2 weeks, but I’ve already been told the probable answer is no. Four weeks without meaningful communication inside the Shelter, and little outside, and none that has let me seek housing. I am frustrated and feel helpless.
Having bronchitis and my car being out of commission isn’t helping. The ride service (Logisticare, for those in Maine) is glitching for everyone, I’ve already had to reschedule several appointments with my outside case manager. There have been several points where if my car was working, I’d have moved into it, because at least I’d be able to go to a coffee shop or library and use my TTY and my regular case manager would be able to help with housing. BRAP has openings, if my application can ever be finished. I qualify.
I’ve even contacted my service dog’s godfather, just in case. He’s willing to take her for the duration, should something here go wrong. I was told coming in that I was on my last strike already. I feel like pushing for Total Communication could get me kicked out, but I don’t know what else to do.
This isn’t even mentioning the man who has becomes increasingly hostile since I shaved my head. It started with swatting at me, progressed to throwing dishes at me, and now he openly spits and shoves me, and has come into my room while I was sleeping. Staff has seen, and only the shoving was taken semi-seriously. The spitting was deemed as ‘naughty’. He was more fussed over than reprimanded. I was told that I should be ‘understanding’ and give him more space. He invades mine. Nothing will be done. He’s old and male, I’m just the deaf, weird one.
Heck, I have about a week’s worth of dog food left, which normally wouldn’t be an issue, but I can’t go get more. I can’t pick up my mail, even though there’s something from Shalom House (BRAP & Shelter Plus Care) is there. They’re charging rent and collecting from the Federal gov’t for housing me, and they have my SNAP (food stamp) card. I’m in an unventilated room that only got cleaned when Sally had a severe allergic reaction (she’s better now, but still). The man that was allowed back has rages if Sally barks, so she’s stuck in the respite room except for walks, and I can’t walk right now, I can barely breathe (but I did make it 3 weeks before getting sick, so that’s a miracle!). It’s the only thing keeping me from calling Sally’s godfather and living rough.
It’s time for meds, and I need to get in line. I knew this would be difficult. I never thought it would be like this. I knew I’d be treated like a child and a drug addict. I thought I’d have some shred of dignity, though. There’s only three staff members who allow me to use the Communication Log freely, and the second highest staff member has scolded them for it. My thoughts and needs don’t matter at all.
This is poverty.
Sunday, Apr 28, 2019 · 8:54:55 PM +00:00
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LoreleiHI
Regarding the man who’s taking up the comments (rather than the actual issues of the diary): I filed what I now know is a grievance, and isn’t the first one. Of course, i handed the first one to one of his defenders and didn’t get a copy. This time I have a copy and the weekend staff are a bit more supportive. Shocked, when I said I handed in a letter like that before.
I’m not shocked.
I repeatedly used the correct terms ‘assault and battery’, and asked why the police hadn’t been called. I hope those of you who were unhappy with my response are mollified. I’m ready to leave Monday regardless. Sally’s godfather has been notified (his concern is the only reason I’m still here).
I also contacted DRM. Hopefully they help. There’s no other avenues.
Monday, Apr 29, 2019 · 9:26:28 PM +00:00
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LoreleiHI
Good news!
I met with my case manager today, and it seems that I’ve sent enough documentation to Disability Rights Maine that they called him while I was there. What timing!
They had had an imperfect understanding of the communication issues, and will be calling the Shelter tomorrow or Wednesday. They thought the issue was slow internet, not denial of access of any communication but a notepad (they’ve flat denied me a terp several times, and I have no phone access).
They are also concerned about the issues with the other, aggressive client. They’ll attempt to address that as well.
In the meantime, my case manager showed me a neat hack for Notepad that isn’t ideal, but will do some basic (if a bit slow) transcription. I’m keeping a new note open and ready to record anyone. He’s also asked to come visit and talk to them about communication issues and the deaf.
So although I had a very frustrating meeting this morning that moved nothing forward with Shelter staff, it only helped my case later in the day. My case manager spoke my thoughts and said it sounds like their primary goal is not getting sued.