Come to Gitmo , it's your new home away from home .
The warm tropical air will soothe your aches and pains .
It's like America but not exactly , the same rules don’t apply so you will not be bothered with them .
You might be asking yourself if you can afford such luxury but don’t give it a second thought if you have recently marched on the capitol , your good friend has already laid the groundwork for your stay . With any luck you will see him there .
You might have heard that it was only for foriegn terrorists , rest assured this is no longer the case .
Maybe you are asking if it’s safe , we have a highly trained staff securing the fence 24//7 . They are of the highest caliber . In fact we can say with all truthfulness that no one has ever broken in .
Gitmo , it's where you deserve to be .
Soon to be under new management .
Act quickly and you will receive at no cost , personalized lounge wear .
Call now . Your travel agent may talk funny but all calls are recorded for quality assurance , just say your name and address clearly and provide a selfie so that our drivers can pick you up without delay .