...IS GOING REALLY BADLY:
1. Your arch-enemy Zelensky’s still alive, you never got within twenty miles of him, and he’s now literally the biggest hero in the fucking world.
2. You just fired the guy in charge of your army --again— to replace him with yet another incompetent butcher who’s never shown he’s good at anything but mass-murdering civilians.
3. Even in the place your insane invasion has gone the absolute best,… it really ain’t going so great. You claimed to have seized Mariupol weeks ago, and it’s pretty clear you’re still not even close. Those Azov guys are still there, still fighting their asses off, still killing loads of you Orc motherfuckers every damn day, and still --incredibly— managing to get resupplied, so they can keep doing it.
If it’s going that badly where it’s going best,… well, never mind.
4. Your huge invasion force in the North (which may’ve been a good 60,000 troops or so) didn’t just get its ass kicked and run home to Daddy Pooty, it also apparently managed to lose somewhere close to HALF its force in troops and materiel. Whoops! That’s gotta sting!
5. You’re supposed to have a 3-to-1 advantage to have any hope of ‘successfully’ invading a country, and you’re about to try --for the second time--with a force that’ll be really lucky to even have parity.
In the words of the great Barack Obama, Please, proceed, asshole.
6. Finland’s about to join NATO, with Sweden most likely close behind. You’ve achieved the exact opposite of what you intended, you pea-brained, mass-murdering, stupid little shit-bag of a man.
7. Your unending stream of Nazi crimes-against-humanity (up to and including your missile-strike on hundreds of civilians waiting to board an evac train this morning) has managed to unite almost the whole fucking world in its hatred of you, and its resolve to see you wiped off the face of the planet.
Even your fascist scumbag pals in the other 20 or 30% of the world are starting to have serious doubts. You are losing allies faster than you could have if that had been your plan.
8. The Ukie claims about your losses (initially dismissed by most Western ‘analysts’ as outlandish propaganda) look more and more accurate every damn day.
You really have managed to lose 700 freaking tanks in a month, and 40,000 troops. (That’s a wild guess combining dead, wounded, and captured/fled, but there’s more and more evidence that it’s probably in the right ballpark.) Wow! That’s impressive.
You guys really do suck at this whole war thing, don’tcha?? (Kinda sad, when that’s really the only thing your Orwellian cesspool of a country is supposed to be any good at, no?)
9. The people you elected to mass-murder (your superiors in every freaking way imaginable) are FINALLY starting to get some high-tech weapons to greatly expand their highly-limited capacities to date.
I don’t know how to tell you this, but those jumbo-sized Switchblade killer-drones are, umm, gonna put a real hurtin’ on you starting very soon. Expect to see your supply-trains to the Donbas start to get --how shall I put this?— blown up real soon. That’s gonna put an awful crimp in your plan --which was pretty fucking stupid to start with.
Those S-300s? Yeah, they’re gonna bring your sortie-rate way down --or your bombers. Whichever you prefer, I guess.
I’m sorry, Vladdy, but somebody’s got to give it to you straight. It’s sure as hell not gonna be any of the spineless, simpering, pud-whackers who work for you.
10. Your Billionaire pals keep getting their yachts and villas seized, and we keep finding more and more of their blood-soaked assets every day.
I’m not sure how to break this to you, Vladdy, but they’re really not happy at all about that, and, umm,… they kinda blame you, see. They’re really not used to living without their billions, and they’re kinda fixing to DO something about it,... if you get what I’m saying.
Aah, never mind, I’m sure you’ll be fine Have a vodka and a Xanax, and get some rest.
Sleep tight, Buddy. We’ll be seeing you real soon.
Ta-ta for now.
Slava Ukraini!!!
(P.S. I’m sorry I haven’t given any supporting links, but I just don’t have the time. Anyone who’s been following closely will know the references for almost all of this right away, and anyone who hasn’t, but wants to know, will be able to find support for every piece with a little quick Googling.)
(P.P.S. There’s plenty of great stuff I left out. Feel free to add to the list. Have a good weekend, everyone.)