Voiceover: We now return to the precincts of once-glamorous Mar-a-Lardo, but oh, how changed is the landscape. The Kraken summoned by the renowned jurist Sidney Powell has swept away a crowd of MAGA Trump supporters, journalists, and several Sheriff’s Deputies, and has carried them down to the lagoon’s depths for its unholy feast. The surge of slime left in the Kraken’s wake covers everything within sight of Mar-a-Lardo’s stately gates.
Scene 1: Just outside the resort’s grounds, and representing journalism at its finest, intrepid BSNN reporter Pat Peroxide is standing by, an eyewitness to the incredible events that unfolded here this evening:
Peroxide: This is Pat Peroxide from BSNN, bringing you the latest update on the horrific events at Mar-a-Lardo! We don’t yet know what really happened here! I barely escaped from the tsunami of slime that rose up from the lagoon and swept away a large gathering of journalists, policemen, and fervent Trump supporters! As you can see, I am still covered in slime from this stunning event. But I am determined to stay and represent journalism at its finest. “My head is slimy but unbowed,” as America’s great poet Ralph Makepeace Longfellow once said.
Brooks Brothels, a talking head on BSNN: Pat, all of us here at BSNN are inspired by your courageous decision to stay onsite and keep reporting on this awful calamity. My hat is off to you! And I’d just like to say … and I think I can speak for every single person on the planet, you represent journalism at its finest.
So—tell us what you know about these events.
Peroxide: I just did, Brooks.
Brooks: Yeah, we know, a tsunami of slime rose up from the lagoon and swept away a large gathering of journalists, policemen, and fervent Trump supporters! … But I think what most of our viewers would like to know is, How do you feel about what happened? What are your feelings right now?
Peroxide: I don’t know … relief I guess, that it was me that survived … somewhat sad because I lost my keys and my new Ferragamos are ruined … Oh! and Of COURSE I’m SHOCKED and DEVASTATED by this HORRIBLE LOSS OF LIFE—there were such fine people on both sides! (sob)
Brooks: I know all Americans are with us in mourning the loss of so many outstanding Florida citizens, simple, everyday folks like you and me, Pat. I have here with me Anodyne Papp, a popular psychologist who’s here to talk to us about coping with the trauma of unexplained viscous inundations. First we’ll take a quick commercial break, so stay with us. We’ll be right back!
………..
Scene 2: At the bottom of the Mar-a-Lago Lagoon, the Kraken is digesting its meal of MAGAs, TV journos, et al.
Kraken: Burp.
A three-foot surge caused by the burp bubble rolls toward the land, and over it. The surge catches intrepid reporter Pat Peroxide by surprise. The backwash carries her out into the lagoon, where she sinks out of sight before anyone can save her.
Scene3:
………..
Scene 3: Well, we are back on the air at BSNN, your rendezvous for news you can use!
In the studio, anchors Brooks Brothels and Vanella Bland are talking to pop psychologist Anodyne Papp.
Vanella: So, Anodyne, what can you tell us about what “happens” to us, psychology-wise, when slime inundates us?
Papp: Most people first experience shock and dismay. Then, the denial sets in.
The victims may think things like, “No, this isn’t happening to me,” or “If I close my eyes, this slime will go away.” But, you see, (smiling sadly) it doesn’t really go away! Even after they shower and the slime is physically gone, the trauma remains. Often victims of slime will have the tendency to blame themselves.
Vanella: Isn’t that tragic?
Brooks: So tragic.
Papp: And that’s where the pop-psychology professional comes in. We can talk the victim through their crisis and help them to understand that slime can happen to anyone, that they did not “deserve” the slime, and help them to gradually heal, and hopefully, after many weeks or months of costly therapy, to restore their zest for life!
Brooks: That’s really amazing!
Vanella: So amazing.
………..
Scene 4: Inside the Mar-a-Lardo residence, Rudy Giuliani is still reeling from the shock of the slime inundation, which has poured in through the windows and doors, completely transforming Mar-a-Lardo’s tasteless yet opulent décor to a vulgar yet flamboyant interior coated with dank, malodorous slime.
Giuliani: No, this isn’t happening to me.
If I close my eyes, this slime will go away.
………..
Voiceover: And so, at this critical juncture, we bid adieu (for now) to the former glitz and glamor of legendary Mar-a-Lardo. Be sure to join us again soon for Episode 7 of...As the Worm Turns.
Note: This is Episode 6 in the Mar-a-Lardo Soap Opera, As the Worm Turns. See below for previous installments:
Episode 1: “Children of a Loser God”
Episode 2: "Of Inhuman Bondage"
Episode 3: "The Fraudfather"
Episode 4: “Labor Day at Mar-a-Lardo”
Episode 5: The MAR-A-LARDO SAGA continues: Releasing the Kraken!