“I’VE NEVER MET THAT WOMAN!!!11!!”
He’s never met a lot of women, huh?
Trump’s first CRIMINAL trial to begin in a little over five weeks.
The last pre-trial hearing ended today.
And it went about as good for Trump as everything has, since November, 2016.
(in case your name is Rip van Winkle, here are the details on the crime(s))
Brad Reed
February 15, 2024 12:30PM ET
Former President Donald Trump appears in court Wednesday for his civil fraud trial at the New York State Supreme Court. Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images
New York Judge Juan Merchan on Thursday shut down an attorney representing Donald Trump in his last-ditch effort to delay the former president's trial related to his hush-money payments to adult film star Stormy Daniels.
As reported by The Daily Beast's Jose Pagliery, Trump lawyer Todd Blanche tried to depict the entire trial against his client as a completely unfair procedure that should be thrown out.
"We strenuously object to what's happened in this courtroom," Blanche said toward the end of Thursday's hearing in Manhattan. "It shouldn't happen in this country."
This prompted Merchan to ask Blanche if he actually had any legal arguments to make as justification to delay the former president's criminal trial.
"That is my legal argument," Blanche replied.
"That isn't a legal argument," Merchan shot back. "I'll see you March 25th."
I wonder if this will be embarrassing for Melania………
- Melania lives at MAL with her Mom, who died on January 9th.
- Barron turns 18 on March 20th.
- She doesn’t want to be First Lady again.
She has three less reasons to stick around.
Erm, make that four……….
Remember, Melania was pregnant with Barron, when Donnie raw-dogged a porn star.
It would be poetic justice for her to leave on him on March 20th.
Jury-selection begins March 25th, 2024, Donnie.
Get ready to be SPANKED!!!
Eight Totally Legitimate Reasons Trump Paid Stormy Daniels $130,000
Dear Wall Street Journal,
I, the lawyer Michael Cohen, demand you retract a recent, totally false story claiming that my client President Donald J. Trump paid the porn star Stormy Daniels “hush money” on the eve of the Republican National Convention to cover up an alleged extramarital affair. In fact, Mr. Trump paid Ms. Daniels $130,000 for various highly professional reasons pertaining to his 2016 Presidential campaign, including:
Tutorial in the History of Cinema
During the campaign, Mr. Trump paid Ms. Daniels $130,000 to tutor him in the history of film. Ms. Daniels—an artiste whom IMDb credits as the writer, director, and star of such films as “Sex Door Neighbor” and “Love in an Elevator”—schooled Mr. Trump in the French New Wave and in the role of the “Girls Gone Wild” creator, Joe Francis, in making upskirt videos today’s dominant genre of independent filmmaking.
NASA Consultant
On the eve of the Republican National Convention, Mr. Trump turned to Ms. Daniels for advice on the direction of the American space program, after he was blown away by her immersive, deeply researched performance as Princess Hubba Hubba in “Space Nuts,” an exploration of squirrel food in zero gravity.
Legislative Strategy, Jewish Outreach
Mr. Trump, a Washington outsider, worried that, as President, he’d lack the D.C. know-how to negotiate with Congress. In the meantime, he wondered why his Jewish friend Barry felt guilty about eating bacon, one of Mr. Trump’s favorite foods. Who better to turn to for counsel on these matters than Ms. Daniels, the star of “Porking with Pride 2”? For the nominal fee of $130,000, Ms. Daniels instructed Mr. Trump in all aspects of the legislative process, recounting the aggressive tactics employed by legends like her former co-star Lyndon (Long-Schlong) Johnson, as well as answering Mr. Trump’s many questions about sausage-making, his sausage, and whether Jared’s sausage is kosher.
[...]
Silence
Mr. Trump hates listening to women. But loud women are everywhere! He paid Ms. Daniels $130,000 to be absolutely quiet during a series of one-on-one meetings in which they meditated, ate kale salads, and online-shopped for the perfect present to give Melania at the baby shower.
What is this case about?
Prosecutors say the Trump Organization paid “hush money” to prevent embarrassing stories about Trump’s personal life from surfacing during the 2016 presidential election.
Trump is facing 34 felony counts (criminal charges) relating to payments made to adult film star Stormy Daniels and former Playboy model Karen McDougal during his 2016 presidential campaign.
The 34 felony charges include the following:
- 11 counts relating to cheques for payments to Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer at the time
- 11 counts relating to monthly payments for Cohen’s services and expenses
- 12 counts relating to falsification of business records
The case centres on payments made to the two women and a Trump Tower doorman who is believed to have possessed information about Trump allegedly fathering a child outside of his marriage.
Prosecutors allege that Cohen, Trump’s former lawyer, paid Daniels $130,000 to stop her from speaking to the US tabloid paper, the National Enquirer. They also allege that the Trump campaign paid $150,000 to McDougal to prevent her from selling her story to the National Enquirer.
A good breakdown of today’s hearing, from MTN
Is this starting to feel like pro-wrestling to anyone else?
Oh yeah, that guy’s a rapist too, isn’t he………...