This morning I found myself reading all of John Kerry's website just so I could raise my head above the collective boondoggle and figure out exactly what the guy stands for as far as "outside" issues go (you know, pesky things like Healthcare.) After this, I decided that in the honest of fairness I would read Georgie's page and see where he stands.. so I spent the next hour reading the in depth coverage and steps he wants to take to remedy the crises affecting the Average American.
Except I didn't- because unless you're looking for stuff about the economy or medicare, you're SOL. But I did find the bestest part of the website- the I Support President Bush Because... gallery of quotes.
It's almost like something out of The Onion- an unintentional parody of itself. Looking down the page each quote is accompanied by a photo of the people I swear were probably using the blood pressure machine this morning in the Wal-Mart pharmacy- along with the token "ethnic" person, and some young'uns thrown in for good measure. Let's see what the youngsters have to say:
"Although it is trendy among teens like myself to pursue the opposite opinion, I admire President Bush because of his abilities to lead, and to do the right thing. He repairs the economy not by introducing new regulations and increasing business costs, but instead uses fundamental economic principles and by reducing taxes. Furthermore, his unwavering stance on terror not only makes my fellow Americans and I safe, but gives a sense of security to the world as well. Bush in '04! "
-- Derek Tam of Sacramento, CA
Say-whu? Ok, first of all- is there honestly an 18 year old out there who would say "Although it is trendy among teens like myself" about anything? But questionable (and I'd bet dollars to donuts it's fake anyway) wording aside, the whole quote is.. well... wrong.
If this page is any indication, BushRove04's strategy is that instead of dealing with any of the problems they've caused and proposing ways to deal with the criticisms people have about his character and "skills" it is merely to repeat things over and over again in the hopes it will be believed (read the great book "Fraud" for more on that kind of thing.)
Here's another:
"I joined the Republican party because of President Bush. He has shown me what compassionate conservatism is. He is doing the right thing for the American people and I support him all the way."
-- Margaret Dodge of Hicksville, NY
Well, frankly I'm glad he's at least shown someone what "compassionate conservatism"
is because I've been trying to figure it out since 1999 and I haven't gotten anywhere. You're more likely to learn what the hell a McNugget was made out of before it suddenly because "white meat" than to figure out what is compassionate about this guy. (And yes, the name of the town did not escape me, but I have too much respect for myself to stoop to such a low level. Take this time to make a joke to yourself about "Hicksville". There. Feel better?)
I could do this all day.. most of the the quotes talk about Bush's honesty and integrity- how he's "proven time and time again he is a man of his word". Again, not even, but if we say it over and over again maybe it will become true. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he will bring you a lack of insurance and make you thank God you have your $4.50/hr job serving up those new White Meat McNuggets.
Here's the closer:
"I support the President because, as a young person, I think the direction that he is taking America is the one that provides us with the most hope and optimism for the future. His pro-business stances will encourage entreprenuership, which benefits us all. His hardline stance on terrorism makes not only America, but the world, a safer place. I will support our President in the next election because I want to see America continue to move in this direction. The majority of Americans agree. "
-- Max Holmquist of Collegeville, Minnesota
The only part of that I can see that actually is true is that, well yes- Georgie is "pro-business".