I've learned two things last night.
1) I am destroying the culture of all peoples
2) I am a terrible blind date
Somewhere in the awkward getting to know you chat, the subject of religion, ethnicity and gay marriage came up. Below the fold I'll go into more detail, but this woman's statement should speak to the overall failure of the evening.
"You people won't be satisfied till you've destroyed my culture."
Perhaps I should start with that "you people" reference. "My people" as I discovered, are atheists, who tend to favor science for explanations.
Being an American mutt, I was surprised to find I belonged to any group of "people". I also was somewhat disappointed to find out my recently discovered brothers and sisters were hellbent on such a notorious pursuit as to erase the history of "her people".
See I had always thought atheism was a personal choice I had made. I hadn't filled out any legal forms or attended any meetings. If indeed such a cabal does exist, I'm saddened at not being invited. Apparently the other atheists feel I'm not worthy of acknowledgment. Not once has anyone flashed me a sign or shaken my hand in a strange but telling way.
My date was Italian Catholic, though she only attended mass on special occasions. She remembered elderly family members speaking Italian when she was a young girl.
The conversation seemed to be going well till the subject of gay marriage came up. She was in favor of allowing gays to marry, so on the surface we were in agreement. But then I said something that changed her perspective. I said that the bigotry surrounding the issue disturbed me.
This was a step too far for her. She took offense at the implication of her family members and some fellow church goers being referred to as bigots. The offense was mild at first, but seemed to devolve into a conversation, I'm sure I will be blamed for by the mutual friend, who fixed us up.
She said I couldn't understand Catholic history, because I wasn't raised Catholic. I told her I didn't believe there was such a thing as Catholic history. There was only history of which the Catholic church played small a part. The prior hundred thousand years of human history had gotten along just fine without so much as a pope to be found.
But upon reflection, I suppose she is right. Hearing that she was Italian or Catholic was of no consequence to me. These are not qualities, which I would assign as pertinent to an individual. I grant them the same weight as I would give a child telling me they are a kitty cat after having their face painted.
In fact it is my intention to destroy her culture. At some base level I reject the notion that an individual can possess a culture or history beyond their own experience. Maybe my ancestors left Africa a little earlier or later than somebody else's, but we are only really separated by time and geography. Maybe my ancestors took a left at the Himalayas and yours made a right. Seems a silly thing to mark as a difference.
For me history only falls into two categories. There is my personal story (at least what I can remember of it) and the story of human beings. That latter story is filled with good, bad and ugly. It is either all of ours story, or I don't know what chance we have at survival.
Am I wrong to view the world as such?