From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
36 Days 'til Netroots Nation. Some quick updates:
- The Netroots Nation agenda is up, and here are just a few of the luminaries who will be on various panels:
Kos, Steve Clemons, Joan McCarter ("McJoan") Amanda Marcotte, David Neiwert, Jake McIntyre ("Trapper John"), Dahlia Lithwick, Arjun Jaikumar ("Brownsox McDreamy"), Matt Yglesias, Pam Spaulding, Congressman Jerry Nadler, Darcy Burner, Chris Bowers, Marcy Wheeler, Neeta Lind ("Navajo") Joe Sudbay, Adam Green, John Aravosis, and Wendell Potter.
That's just, like, one half of one scintilla of one quarter of one percent! For the complete list of panel topics, click here.
- Volunteers needed Shanna Ingalsbee is back as Volunteer Coordinator, and she needs a few good men and women to donate some time to help make the convention run smoothly in three areas: 1) Pre-convention assembly of swag bags (I think we all get a Prius this year…or maybe that was a dream) 2) Registration desk, exhibit hall booth, and bookstore 3) Post-convention packing up. Volunteers who put in enough time can even get their registration fee waived. Give Shanna a shout via email at: volunteers@netrootsnation.org.
- Speaking of volunteers, if you're going to the convention and you need someone to stalk you, I still have Thursday afternoon and Saturday morning free. I'm suitably creepy and very good at ignoring emergency restraining orders.
- From the Netroots Nation mailbag:
We are delighted to have you join us on Sunday, June 19, 2011 at the Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden. Our 15-acre garden is the oldest public wildflower garden in the nation. Its legacy dates back to 1907 when Eloise Butler and other Minneapolis botany teachers successfully petitioned the Minneapolis Park Board to create a natural botanic garden to preserve native flora as the city grew. … The Garden is home to over 500 plant species and 130 bird species.
The Garden has a tradition of protecting native plants, and we invite you to help us preserve this ecological jewel by removing invasive species found growing around the perimeter of the Garden. Thank you again for your enthusiasm and we look forward to seeing you in June.
Sincerely,
Michael P. Schmidt, Assistant Superintendent---Operation Services
Minneapolis Park & Recreation Board
Adds Nolan Treadway: "This year's Netroots Nation Day of Service will send volunteers to the sanctuary Sunday for lunch, a tour and time spent getting dirty removing invasive species that are threatening the local ecosystem." Click here for details.
- If the Rapture occurs on May 21, as many are predicting, an alternate location may be necessary. If so, we'll provide updates via a booming voice that echoes across the universe.
- Yesterday AdamB issued a challenge to attorneys on behalf of Netroots for the Troops. As we continue to exert pressure for withdrawal on the powers-that-be, our troops cointinue serving in Afghanistan and Iraq, which is why we continue sending care packages to them from Netroots Nation. Your donation will help make it a success for our fourth year running.
- Some big-name speakers will be announced soon. In the meantime, I've been authorized to release the following clue:
"This speaker has been on Glenn Beck's chalkboard."
(Hint: it's not Mao.) Let the speculation commence!
Not registered yet? It's as easy as fruit-filled pastry with flaky crust cooling on Mom's windowsill.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Note: The secret to effective humor is confidence!!! (Right?)
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Wisconsin recall elections: 62
Days `til the 25th annual Lowell Folk Festival: 79 (hat tip to ClapClapSnap)
Amount the Fortune 500 generated last year in total revenue: $10.8 trillion (Up 10.5%)
Percent increase in their total profits: 81%
(Think Progress)
Estimated number of smokers in China, roughly equal to the population of the U.S.: 300 million
Estimated percent of Chinese men under 30 who will die from smoking-related causes: 33%
(Source: Time)
Number of times since 1968 that The New York Times stopped its presses for breaking news: 3 (LBJ announcing he wasn't running for re-election, the 2000 election confusion, bin Laden's capture)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 182 (including 5 plagues and 1 incidence of truth in advertising). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Good samaritan
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CHEERS CHEERS CHEERS to fighting among the right. Senator Olympia Snowe (Country Club R-ME), eyeing a fourth term, is getting flanked by a tea party candidate here in Maine, and I'm luvin' it because it's forcing her to acknowledge Whatzisname's existence:
The heated exchange between the three-term senator and Scott D’Amboise of Lisbon Falls was prompted by a motion by the U.S. Department of Justice to intervene in a lawsuit against the company that Snowe’s husband chairs. …
Snowe, who is up for re-election in 2012, accused D’Amboise of making false and libelous statements and running a smear campaign against her and her husband, John McKernan, a Republican who was Maine’s governor from 1987 to 1995. … “The kind of political flim-flam that Scott D’Amboise is offering is frankly deceptive, and people expect more from people who want to represent them."
Yes!!! She played the flim-flam card! Jeeves, fetch me my opera glasses, I don’t want to miss a second of this! Mr. D'Ambroise, you may now play the smoke-and-mirrors card, and then Snowe can play the ne'er-do-well card, and from there…oh, surprise me.
JEERS to Alan Grayson. Yes, that Alan Grayson. Shame on him, oh yes, shame shame shame! A couple years ago the former (and future?) Florida congressman suggested that the Republicans' health care plan amounted to---quoting here---"Don’t get sick. If you do get sick, die quickly." Well, guess what? Republicans thought that sounded eminently sensible, so they've adopted it for real. That does it. Next time I see Mr. Grayson I'm only buying him one drink instead of two.
CHEERS to fuzzy math. Well, at least fuzzy mathematicians. Einstein's theory of relativity was presented 94 years ago today. His words:
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."
When I was two years old, I managed to open the door to the stove while my mom was cooking dinner. The door slammed shut on my right hand. Today it still looks like I'm the son of Aquaman. So, with all due respect: fuck relativity. It hurts.
CHEERS to…betrothal on a battleship? Back when I was knee-high to a disco ball, gays were fighting just to establish a legal no-baseball-bat zone around them. And here we are, in 2011, reading the news that the military---yes, the U.S. military!---is not only preparing to let us serve openly, but to accompany us down the aisle:
An April 13 memo from the chief of Navy chaplains concerning training revisions said "a chaplain may officiate a same-sex, civil marriage if it is conducted in accordance with a state that permits same-sex marriage or union."
"If the base is located in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, then base facilities may normally be used to celebrate the marriage," the memo read.
Of course, no chaplains will be forced to conduct the ceremonies if they have objections. It'll be their loss. Gay wedding receptions are the stuff of legend.
BLEEP BLOOP! to a fresh plug-in for the Borg. Microsoft is buying Skype for what to them is pocket change. Oh well, it was fun while it…
[Buffering…Please wait]
[Buffering…Please wait]
[Buffering…Please wait]
[This program has encountered a fatal error and must shut down]
…lasted.
CHEERS to fracking the fracking frackers. Pardon the unseemly language, but I just saw the Oscar-nominated documentary Gasland a couple weeks back, and it's a chilling portrait of a head-in-the-sand energy industry run amok at the expense of the safety of our drinking water. Now CNN is reporting on a damning report on fracking ("hydraulic fracturing," a method of shale gas extraction), and it ain't just blowin' hot gas:
A new study from Duke University found potentially toxic levels of methane in drinking water near natural gas wells---levels so high they create the risk of explosion.
The study, released Monday, said about half of the 68 drinking water wells tested in Pennsylvania and New York located within a half a mile from natural gas wells had high levels of methane---the prime ingredient in natural gas fuel.
"We found concentration levels where you have to worry about explosions," said Robert Jackson, an environmental sciences professor at Duke and one of the study's authors.
On the upside: for sheer juvenile glee, free of conscience or fear of consequence, I admit that watching someone light their faucet on fire is hella cool. Do it again, Daddy!
JEERS to reggae denied. Thirty years ago today, Bob Marley Died much too young at 36. New evidence is emerging that he, in fact, shot the deputy, not the sheriff. But why quibble? Let's get together and feel alright, anyway. Around, say, 4:20? (Yup, even you, Laura, you closet Rastafarian, you…)
Five years ago in C&J: May 11, 2006
HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!! to Glenn Beck. The right-wing radio host (Media Matters documents his verbal atrocities here) is trying his hand at TV on CNN Headline News. How did he do on his inaugural broadcast? Let's just say the keynote address at the next Embarrassments Anonymous is his to lose. (Please, CNN---bring back your headlines). [5/11/11 Update: Welcome back to earth, rocketman.]
JEERS to shaky comparisons. George W. Bush on George Washington (not a parody!):
"That's George Washington, the first President, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three---three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting? People say, so what? Well, here's the "so what." You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone. If they're still analyzing the presidency of George Washington---[Heh heh heh]---so Presidents shouldn't worry about the history. You just can't. You do what you think is right, and if you're thinking big enough, that history will eventually prove you right or wrong. But you won't know in the short-term."
One little difference: they've spent over 200 years analyzing the degrees of George Washington's greatness. I suspect historians will be able to cover Bush's accomplishments in that department during their coffee break.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to merry meetups. I'm grateful for many things in life. The top 5, in order: my partner Michael, ice cream, municipal drainage systems, the fez, and May 11, 1969. That's the day that John Cleese and Graham Chapman met Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin, and began plotting their collective assault on British stiff-upperlippyness, which debuted a few months later as Monty Python's Flying Circus. For your viewing pleasure:
The Ministry of Silly Walks
The Dead Parrot Sketch
"Doctor, my brain hurts!"
And...Spam!
Later, in The Meaning of Life, they were positively prescient about the way the financial collapse of '08 would play out. Scary. P.S. "Nee!"
Have a nice Wednesday, and remember: Coal cares! (The Yes Men are so good.) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I think Bill in Portland Maine has pounded his chest a little too much. He can take pride in Cheers and Jeers, but he does not need to show it so much."
---Fmr. Bush Chief of Staff Andrew Card
5/7/11
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