Jon Stewart had a good segment on last night that highlights the recent trend of big media companies trying to gain even more power, from Disney trying to trademark "Seal Team 6" to the Comcast/NBC Universal merger.
Disney isn't the only big media company making the moves.
BRIAN WILLIAMS (1/18/2011): Federal regulators today approved the purchase by Comcast of a majority stake in NBC Universal from General Electric. ... This merger will create a $30 billion media company, with cable, broadcast, Internet, motion picture, and theme park components.
Oh thank God, now if I have my cable go out, and I go to a theme park and choke on a giant fried turkey leg, right before I find out my favorite show got cancelled, I only have to call one number to complain. This monopoly's awesome! I don't know why this doesn't happen more often. Oh right, 'cause it's illegal.
Video and transcript below the fold.
This past weekend, my son and I are playing our new favorite game there, Seal Team 6. We pretend to be the heroic Navy SEALs who took down America's worst enemy, aka, our neighbor's Labrador. Anyway, next thing I know, there's a lawyer at my door, serving me with papers.
JENNA LEE (5/16/2011): The Walt Disney Company is looking to cash in on the Osama bin Laden takedown.
AINSLEY EARHARDT (5/16/2011): It's been two weeks since the U.S. military raid on Osama bin Laden's compound, but it took Disney less than two days to request a trademark for the name Seal Team 6.
You can't do that! You can't just take America's real life heroes and turn them into this.
Although... but that is awesome. I can't wait for the Happy Meal.
Oh, putting a trademark on Seal Team 6, that's like trying to copyright the guys who stormed the beaches of Normandy, or the Statue of Liberty, or putting a patent on... Patton. It belongs to all of us. Not to mention, Disney filed this claim only two days after the story was released. Which is why it's part of our new ongoing segment, That Was Fast.
You know what, I got an idea, I'm going to trademark The Lion King. Yeah. Oh, it's trademarked? Then I'll just trademark the trademark.
Use that thing all the time? I'm going to make a buttload! Although Disney isn't the only big media company making the moves.
BRIAN WILLIAMS (1/18/2011): Federal regulators today approved the purchase by Comcast of a majority stake in NBC Universal from General Electric. ... This merger will create a $30 billion media company, with cable, broadcast, Internet, motion picture, and theme park components.
Oh thank God, now if I have my cable go out, and I go to a theme park and choke on a giant fried turkey leg, right before I find out my favorite show got cancelled, I only have to call one number to complain. This monopoly's awesome! I don't know why this doesn't happen more often. Oh right, 'cause it's illegal.
Which is why it had to be approved by the FCC. That's right, the same people who freak out when boobs pop out at the Super Bowl, or keep me from saying things like "shithammer" or "fucknuggets". In fact, they're actually quite competent. If I cover my mouth, even, and just say, like, toad (bleeped out), no one even knows, but they will get it, and they will bleep it.
But part of the FCC's job is also making sure that media companies don't get too powerful, or else they might start doing stuff like trademarking the names of heroic military units for their own financial gain. Those fucknuggets! You know, stuff like this.
JOSH SILVER (7/17/2010): The merger would dramatically increase Comcast's incentive and ability to raise prices, block competitive entry, force bundles on other cable systems, and discriminate in carriage of competing programming. For consumers, this would spell even higher prices....
Even higher prices for TV? So what? I only pay $150 a month, but I get 80 different versions of the Style channel, even though that's all there is on, ever.
[Except, of course, Monday through Thursday, at 11pm on Comedy Central, where TV funnyman Jon Stewart puts his outrageous take on the night's news. Tonight's episode, jerk-off jokes about bin Laden.]
So how did this deal happen? The FCC's 5-member regulatory board works kind of like the Supreme Court, without the robes or the little hammers, and not as many people die while in office. They voted 4-1 to approve the merger, thanks in part to the support of FCC commissioner Meredith Baker.
LISA SYLVESTER, CNN (5/12/2011): Commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker voted for the deal, and has since been outspoken, complaining that the FCC's merger review process is cumbersome, and takes too long.
Good for you, Madame Commissioner, cutting through the red tape to save time and money for the American taxpayer. Finally someone in government who's not just looking out for Number One. I see big things for Meredith Baker.
BRET BAIER (5/12/2011): Federal Communications Commissioner Meredith Baker announced she's resigning next month to become Comcast/NBC Universal's Senior Vice President of Governmental Affairs.
Jon Stewart also had some fun with the story about bin Laden's porn stash, and then on Mike Huckabee saying he wasn't going to run for President.
Stephen Colbert also covered the news about Huckabee and Trump not running, while Newt Gingrich is, and then showed what he did this weekend in filing with the FEC to create his own Super PAC. And yes, it looks like Stephen has officially hired former FEC chair Trevor Potter, who served as John McCain's general counsel for his 2008 campaign, to be his own lawyer in this case involving his Super PAC.