I'm in an odd and unusual point of balance. I have a short list of projects. They're important and I have to get real and make some attempt to deal here.
That will take some work. It will take some time. There will be waiting.
But meanwhile, here I am. Not depressed. Pleased with much of my immediate circumstances. Thinking of you.
Yeah, all of you. Including you who have been so kind, and you who have given me nine kinds of shit.
All of you.
Because so many of you have been here with me, going through your own kinds of hell, all of us together.
Even the trolls. Trolls have lives too.
So, this diary tonight is dedicated to everyone who has ever blogged here, with love and thanks for being part of something that didn't have to exist, and that could not have existed if everyone didn't decide to do it, and make it what it continues to change to be.
Trolls and all. Don't underrrate trollls :-)
This diary is not a joke. Virtually nothing I do is a joke, although I like to play a lot.
Playing is not a joke. Playing is an important part of operating and learning.
There have been rumors that I'm bipolar. I'm not. I just get bored sometimes, and I drink a lot.
I have suffered from depression when my friends kicked me out. Wouldn't you?
I've been realizing lately that I'm not depressed anymore, although this is kind of a graduated thing.
Symptoms of not being depressed:
1. I can't remember the last time I cried for an extended period of time
2. I still sleep in late and drink a lot, but when I get out of bed, I'm upbeat and ready to roll.
3. I'm making good strides towards letting go of anger towards people I have loved.
4. I'm more relaxed.
5. I'm letting go without working with the false meme of forcing one's self to let go. It's just happening.
I don't think one can force one's self to let go. I think you have to work it from other angles. I think you have to find other distractions, and I think they have to be really good solid distractions, such as blogging on Daily Kos, which I would recommend to anyone I cared about, and in fact have. Constantly.
I mean, I don't nag people, but I do point us out to the best of my contacts.
They can come here or not. Their choice.
One of my family members pointed me towards DK in 2006. It took me until 2008 to try us out...I was in bad shape then.
I was treated kindly, all things considered.
I gradually started seeing that Kos, one way or the other, had managed to create something new, something that I'd never seen before, or had thought about.
A Daily Kos University
I don't want to get all grandiose here, but I've been hanging around here off and on since September of 2008 and believe me, fellow Kossacks, I am one to test social structures. Usually they fail. Quickly.
This one? No. It was interesting watching all the howling about the upgrade.
No. Not.
This is not only good, but it's getting looser and better and more interesting all the time.
Kos, you rock.
love!