"The poor can't sleep because they are hungry; the rich can't sleep because the poor are awake."
I heard a person being interviewed on the radio say that earlier today. It was in the background and I just caught those words.
The context was the economic and social unrest in a far away hungry, foreign country.
The rich weren't sleepless because they were upset or concerned about their nation's harsh economic disparity and injustice to the poor; they were awake out of fear of having their throats slit in their sleep by the poor.
Which, of course, made me think about what it's like being poor in this country.
Please join me over the orange cloven hoofprint.
My mother taught me, long ago, a distinction between being "poor" and being "broke". It is a subjective reality of attitude and outlook. It may seem like semantics to some, but to me it's the truth. I've never been poor, it's just been a lot of being broke.
My kids were reared broke, but not poor. Yes, I taught them when they were quite young to check prices at the grocery store because it made them responsible consumers. It was smart shopping and not an indication of our economic situation. But, in truth, we really, always had to know. I don't know if it was nature or nurture for me, but theirs was nurture hands down.
Trips back across the store to check the price of the item one just grabbed off the shelf makes price checking a learned behavior.
Coincidentally, I moved to Austin to go back to college the same month Ronald Reagan took the oath of office. I remember when the federal funding for the state hospital was cut and the corners and vacant lots filled with homeless people off their medications, their entire lives piled in the shopping carts they pushed. I mention this because my life here started with the onset of his reign of error and while his memory has been elevated to relative sainthood; his name uttered with reverence by the presidential hopefuls, I remain here in the real world, at ground level with my fellow sinners, still hungry for that trickle down fruit he is credited with planting all those years ago.
Like most students, I was chronically broke in college, and, I must admit, slightly envious of people who could just throw stuff in the grocery shopping cart without looking at the price. My friends and I laughed at our relative goals; my buddies, who happened to be in pharmacy school, wanted boats and new cars, I wanted to toss whatever food item I chose into the shopping cart, price unchecked. I always thought I would "outgrow" that "price check" mindset, but even when I did get relatively financially comfortable for a while, the mindset remained intact. My life's evolutionary dynamic has it in there for a good reason and I wouldn't have it any other way. As I said, nature or nurture, who knows, doesn't matter. Being price conscious has never hurt me that I can see. Just sayin'.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not whining, I'm simply realizing that while I know that having been broke most of my adult life has really influenced my adult persona, I have never considered myself to be poor. People with the opportunities I have had, college, born white, middle class, male- aren't poor. I think of it perhaps as having outlived the opportunities afforded me in my youth.
Broke college student became broke adult, then broke single adult with kids, then broke "getting to be older" adult. You get the idea.
The Reagan Revolution made college students in business suits commonplace; the school of business had to expand to accommodate the increased demand. I chose a liberal arts degree versus something inherently more, "monetarily friendly"; law school was always a possibility, I loved to argue, so it seemed like it might be a good fit. I chose not to teach, I had construction experience as a back up, a desire to write and I was confident that to simply "learn to learn" would be enough. I always managed to get an entry level job in whatever field, and, in a couple of years, carve out a reasonably comfortable niche for myself. I've had at least four five year-plus "careers", in multiple fields; I have a lot of experience doing a lot of things. Creative resume editing is just one of my many acquired talents.
Point me at it and I can pretty much figure it out. Which works out nicely being broke because I can't just "call a repairman" when stuff breaks. No household appliance, home repair, automobile or computer is safe from my attempt. Necessity being the mother of invention and all, my hobbies have generally been repairing, rebuilding or refinishing. Making old things new again; fixing things. So, I guess my plan worked out, it just wasn't a real well developed plan to begin with.
I was also in a relationship and then married and had the relative cushion for many years of two incomes. Then the marriage ended and I was suddenly a single income parent with two t'ween boys and things got really tight. Combine that with getting older as the economy went into free fall, and we are where we are, broke.
I was unemployed recently for over a year, the job market frozen like I had never previously experienced. I completely understand first hand all the aspects the pols and pundits discuss about long-term unemployment, folks no longer seeking work, the "free-ride" of unemployment insurance, and the associated "benefits". Everybody knows that qualifying for food stamps and UI is almost as cool as winning the Powerball. Ask anybody who's been there, they'll tell you.
I can't abide these repeated attacks on the threadbare safety net, food off a family's table in order to make political points. Talk about an issue that needs to be taken off the table. Threatening to make a family homeless and making the nation's weakest suffer to turn a poll or pretend to "lower the deficit" in Norquist's name, amen, is not acceptable.
I realize now how all of this has profoundly affected me, and my sons, and how people who have lived this life might live in a different world altogether than those who haven't; a world that's the polar opposite of Willard's world of the off-hand ten thousand dollar bet.
Reality bites of being broke.
< Realizing that it's a hell of a hassle getting food stamps and few people would volunteer to go through the process if they didn't have to. The first time I had to do it, I only relented when a friend loudly explained to me (got in my face) that it was intended for people just like me who were trying to decide between gas to the interview or food in the apartment; grocery store or the light bill with kids to feed. I still didn't like doing it.
< Realizing that it is how your asset and liabilities numbers fit their templates that defines your level of need.
Discovering that reporting the eighty dollars a week your son's new part time job brings in, just reduced the food stamps by two-thirds. Reporting it the first time because it was "right"; not reporting it the next time because you knew you could not afford to do the "right" thing.
< Realizing that people, in dire situations, do things they wouldn't otherwise do; and, it's a little easier to rationalize the choice each time the circumstances are presented.
< Realizing that keeping the statistical numbers low for people on relief is making the process long and complicated so people will give up. I have lots of education and a background doing collections/accounts receivables and the application process was still daunting.
< Realizing your kids aren't embarrassed by the situation and being proud that they aren't.
< Making sure your kids know how to deal with any stigma attached to receiving free lunch.
< Realizing part of the lack of stigma is so many of their peers are also on free or assisted lunch. That it just isn't uncommon anymore.
< Realizing the bill collectors will try and work with you up to a point.
< Realizing after that point they can't eat you; especially not through the phone.
< Realizing not answering the phone becomes a psychological necessity, rather than an option. If you can't pay and you've tried to work it out, don't waste everyone's time. They have plenty of other calls to make.
< Realizing your credit score isn't worth your health or killing yourself over.
< Realizing, while it is just a "talking point" for those with access to health insurance, it's living sick and losing teeth for those without.
< Realizing that having insurance is no guarantee of having access to healthcare. Plans with a high deductible require more out-of-pocket than someone living check to check can afford. And choosing an insurance plan with lower deductibles isn't an option because then the paycheck won't make ends meet.
< Realizing when one really needs the major dental procedures, even with insurance, the price is more than one's budget allows.
< Realizing we really must have universal coverage for health care and dental care in this country.
< Realizing the Teabagging GOP doesn't have a clue about being broke; otherwise they wouldn't threaten to cut UI or the safety net as a means of gaining their political goals.
< Realizing that those who bargain with UI or safety net cuts, threaten to take away families' food and shelter, while they themselves enjoy a comfortable, secure lifestyle.
< Realizing the politicians would feed your family to the street if they felt the opportunity cost wasn't too high and they perceived it to be in their political self-interest.
< Realizing we have to make sure they know they will pay heavily if they follow through on their threats.
< Realizing why my grandmother, who grew up in the scarcity of the Depression and then the rationing of World War II as an adult, had the sort of priorities she had. We naturally share frugal cooking and household habits, by necessity, making things last and avoiding waste.
< Realizing the life clock is against you to acquire and refill the 401k you wiped out when you were unemployed, especially living paycheck to paycheck; there will be no planned retirement.
< Realizing they don't teach Marxian economic theory except as a footnote in conventional economics classes because he emphasizes the inherent flaw in a system based on avarice and greed.
< Realizing that this economic chasm is a direct result of the Reagan Revolution and it is a very real Class War; they declared it thirty years ago and we didn't take them seriously. Anyone who hasn't come to realize the game is "on" watches too much Fox noise or is on the side that created the rift.
< Realizing the tear in the social fabric will not go away in my lifetime, that my sons' generation will spend their energy dealing with it's effects plus whatever challenges future world events bring.
< Realizing the Gipper's true legacy really does live on, and that has to be changed.
“People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made” — Franklin D. Roosevelt
Peace, ya'll.
Wed Feb 22, 2012 at 9:58 AM PT: Thanks all for the "republishes" and the resues,
I appreciate it, as well as all the really nice comments.
Wed Feb 22, 2012 at 9:59 AM PT: *rescues. (yeah, typos bug me that much.)
Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 11:27 AM PT: Thanks, once again, for the rec's and comments. I am used to just seeing triple digits on the thermometer in the summer time.
Thu Feb 23, 2012 at 6:55 PM PT: Quick note- if you allow the ads to show while viewing this diary, there is an ad to purchase an official USS Ronald Reagan cap for only 22 dollars- hurry, supplies are limited!!
Thanks again to the community for the very warm response to this diary- I really appreciate it.
1kw