Penn State trustees say they fired Joe Paterno over 'failure of leadership' in Jerry Sandusky case
Joe Paterno's family blames Penn State board for sex-abuse crisis
Blame, finger pointing, guilt. The sexual abuse of children suffers many casualties. There is plenty of blame to go around here. We, all of us, are to blame for not doing enough - for not doing more. Instead of trying to point outwardly and place blame, let's all come together and say today we will do better. Today we will be more observant, more aware of what's going on in our own lives. With statistics of 1:4 girls and 1:6 boys being sexual abused before age 18, it's almost guaranteed you know a victim and/or a survivor. Even more troubling? You probably also know a pedophile...
The media continues to get it wrong. This isn't about Joe Paterno or the Board of Trustees - but rather the culture that allows pedophiles to exist. And that culture is not exclusive to Penn State. Child sexual abuse makes people uncomfortable - and it is this uncomfortable feeling that makes people look away. The thought of a child being raped by an adult is so heinous that as a protective measure, it's easier to excuse "weird" behavior than to "go there."
The grooming process is a slow, deliberate phase. Intimate behaviors escalating with each encounter. Even to the victim, they may not realize what's going on until it's too late - and by then the shame and guilt are transferred from perpetrator to victim. Children internalize everything. Throw child sexual abuse on top of that pile and you can imagine how they immediatley think they deserved it, or did something wrong, or asked for it, or - here's the F*'ed up part - sex is pleasurable - even for little kids, so if you stimulate them sexually and they enjoyed it - they feel complicit in the abuse.
A child's mind cannot comprehend the adult responses of their body. So they are betrayed twice - by their abuser and by themselves. Talk about confusing...And, as most (90%) are abused by someone they know (68% by a family member) - there are issues with loyalty and trust and respecting your elders and wanting to please and feeling obligated.
There are many things children do that is not of their own volition. How many times do we force them to "perform" taking away their rights to say no? Go give Aunt Bertha a hug - give your uncle a kiss - we tell them they have no rights where their personal space and bodies are concerned. Is it no wonder, then, how easily a pedophile can get them to acquiesce?
We can make a difference TODAY. We can save a child TODAY. We can stop child sexual abuse TODAY. Let's stop finger-pointing and blaming each other and educate ourselves about child sexual abuse.
Learn the warning signs. Talk to your children. Tell them it's okay to tell. Watch; Listen; Question; Look for patterns of behaviors that isolate the child with an adult; Recognize changes in behaviors in the child - withdrawal, anger, sadness, over-sexualized behaviors, promiscuity, sexually charged language, increased masturbation, inappropriate beahviors with other children, self-abusive behaviors.
Visit our website Tree Climbers
Tree Climbers is a community diary series for survivors of childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse and those who support them.
Tree Climbers sustain each other, learn about childhood abuse, recover, and discover and create ways to protect children.
Trigger Warning - The next paragraph holds brutal words. Feel free to scroll past it.
In a typical diary, you might read of someone who survived the grooming (this does not mean hair brushing), the fondlings, the rapings, the beatings, the mutilations or the death threats perpetrated by a sadistic egocentric molester of an innocent. Criminals abuse their victims. For years. Families refuse to believe the victims. For years. Victims report being dead inside. For years. Families and society have stifled the voices of victims and magnified and perpetuated the abuse. For years. We weep. We rage. We heal. We inspire.
We invite you to climb or be lifted up in our safe tree with us. We have broad branches, sunshine, hammocks, cushions, and plenty of tissues. Comment on the diary, ask questions, and share your perspective or even your story. If you are too overwhelmed to speak, you can just witness. That's okay. A few of the Tree Climbers are as silent as a jury.
Tree Climbers Rule: Be kind.
No T r o l l s. When we were children, we had no power. But we are no longer children. Climbing trees is not healthy for trolls - everybody knows that. If you act like a troll in our tree, we will calmly watch while you become invisible.
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Join Tree Climbers. You are welcome to join us. To do so, send a private message via kosmail to SallyCat for an invitation to join the group.
Special diaries and a radio broadcast. If you missed the first few days of the Tree Climbers, we recommend that you read the following three diaries and also listen to a radio interview.
• F**k Joe Paterno by Rebecca, January 22, 2012.
• “No One Spoke Up for Us": For The Children Who Had No Voice and for Those Finally Finding Theirs by Rebecca, January 26, 2012.
• In Solidarity. There is No True Justice for a Crime That Lasts Forever by dear occupant, January 26, 2012.
• Roxine's radio interview. On Dr. Laura's radio show on November 11, 2011, Roxine read her letter on air (8 minutes). You can read the text in "No One Spoke Up for Us."
Technical questions? See the Daily Kos Frequently Asked Questions, found also at the bottom of every Daily Kos page.
† Following. Once you become a member of Daily Kos, you can Follow (subscribe to) any diarist or group. From your home page, when you click on the tab "My Stream," a page will open that looks like an email Inbox. To see what a Daily Kos Stream looks like: SallyCat's "My Stream" page.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1.800.656.4673.
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