Today marks a special place in this week's political history and that is the suspension of Newt Gingrich's campaign (though not by Roger Goodell).
Gingrich brought us disgust and merriment as his vanity campaign to spite others found and lost traction simultaneously. He set America back by race baiting in South Carolina and then sprung us to the future as he prepared for the Sea of Tranquility caucus.
Newt Gingrich's campaign can be relived here for the price of 5 Newt Gallons.
Newt-Moment #1 - Senior Staff Quits:
As his official announcement for President saw gaffe after gaffe, Gingrich found himself in some hot water. His entire senior staff quit about two months before the Ames Straw Poll and it looked like his campaign was doom before it even sputtered. Newt, in typical Gingrich fashion, kept his cool and announced "we will begin this campaign anew on Sunday in Los Angeles". What a soldier.
Newt-Moment #2 - Blingrich
Gingrich's campaign was still sputtering in neutral when the news broke that he racked up a pretty impressive debt at Tiffany's jewelers. The rise of Blingrich continued to tarnish the once-diamond clear reputation of America's finest debt saving man.
Newt-Moment #3 - Newt blasts Paul Ryan
Was Newt running for office, for Pete's sake or was he just a serious conservative? An answer we may never get. However, one answer did get out of him was his bashing of Paul Ryan's "Path To Notoriety" budget plan as "right wing social engineering". For once, we agreed with Newt! Of course, he later denied saying the video taped remarks.
Newt-Moment #4 - Gingrich SURGING
After Herman Cain's hat started falling off his head as accusations of sexual harassments came out nearly daily, the conservatives wanted someone of a higher moral fiber. Obviously they started flocking in droves to the previously beleaguered Gingrich campaign. Gingrich wasn't shocked though, I mean, he expected this.
Newt-Moment #5 - Newt Gingrich Wins The Nomination
Well that's done with!
Newt-Moment #6 - Gingrich loses ground, targets Romney
Wait this thing is still going? The ugly side of Newt, believe it or not, there is one; came out once Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney took Iowa from him. When it looked like he would drop out, Newt went for the jugular and wanted blood. This led to:
Newt-Moment #7 - When Mitt Romney Came To Town
No video or link necessary. Newt Gingrich launched a cruise missile at the Romney campaign that will hopefully be picked up by the Obama campaign. The Gingrich SuperPAC might as well have put this in theaters with Dolby Digital as Mitt Romney looked like the world's worst person ever after this.
Newt-Moment #8 - Newt Goes To South Carolina!
Somehow Newt Gingrich had another surge up his sleeve as Mitt Romney started pressing his inevitability endowment. Newt put the "racy" back in Confederacy as he threw sentences such as "the biggest food stamp President ever" at a zany pack of red-meat sniffing conservative hyenas in South Carolina. He verbally assaulted welfare, janitors, poor children and really anybody that could be stereotyped as poor faster than you can say "Bain Capital is here". This might've been the ugliest moment of the 2012 GOP race. Also of note: Gingrich blasting John King.
Newt-Moment #9 - Newt's Going To The Moon!
In an attempt to appeal to the Florida Republican Party (or an attempt to geographically locate Ron Paul supporters), Newt decided that he wanted to go to the moon and establish a lunar colony by 2020. That's right, Newt Gingrich thinks we can be living on the Moon in 10 years.
Newt went from the leading not-Romney to national laughingstock again. But Newt wasn't to be denied one more final Newt moment!
Newt-Moment #10 - Newt Gallons!
On Super Tuesday, when the world eagerly awaited to see if Rick Santorum could take Ohio from Mitt Romney; Newt Gingrich launched himself into a thirty minute tirade that almost made Callista blink. In the middle of it, Newt Gingrich idealized Dwight Schrute to promote the idea of "Newt Gallons" which would lead to $2.50 gas!
As exciting as this new currency was, didn't it interfere with the free markets?
That oxymoron further drove home the ineptitude of the Newt Gingrich campaign. History will remember it as an ugly vanity project that turned into a quest for the GOP nomination back to what it started as, one man by himself trying to tell everyone he is smarter than them.
Newt Gingrich was a history teacher before he ran for Congress and at times, you got the idea that he definitely thought he was smarter than anyone who has ever existed. He blasted anyone in his path and at times seemed to be the fullback to whomever he thought could beat Mitt Romney.
For Newt this wasn't about the Presidency, it was about him. Just like it always was since his Contract with America days. He knows how to bring attention to himself, whether it is good or bad, and keep his name in the news. He was once a powerful figure but is now reduced to a shell of his former mistress.
He never connected with America, instead he gave us an uppercut to the jaw. We gave this man a platform as a legitimate candidate when he really was just a self-serving, egotistical, narcissistic human. He bragged about his relationship with Ronald Reagan just like it was a chapter of his autobiography.
Now Newt Gingrich is unemployed and I have one suggestion for him. My Dad could use another guy to help clean up the mess your campaign left.