Another report from my wanderings through the halls of CPAC 2013, aka the Conservanomicon, aka PullUpTheLadderpalooza.
Aside from the big speakers, not much else is going on today. That is probably wise; a woman sitting next to me at one point confesses to being extremely hung over, and she is probably far from the only one. The overall morning energy level is, perhaps, a bit lower than before. A woman in her late 40s, in talking about her husband who didn't come today, tells a companion "He would have been very, very bored to pay $75 to see Sarah Palin." Yeah, buddy, I hear you on that one.
Today is Big Damn Speaker day, full of conservative leading lights and heavily tilted towards people who are unreserved in saying nutty things. Steve King gives a speech defending social conservatism. As usual, and the prototypical beginning, middle or end of every conservative fable here, he spends a good portion of his time stoking fear in liberals, saying all the things in the Bill of Rights are "under assault by a bunch of leftists."
Let's go below the fold for the rest of the updates, including Sarah Palin's big moment:
King's speech gets decent, though not overly enthusiastic applause from the crowd, and up next is Scott Walker. He blames the recession-era Wisconsin deficits entirely on the Democrats then in power there—Bush, as usual, remains entirely absent from the conversation. He is sporting a noticeable 5 o'clock shadow, and talks about his "policies" in the most generic terms one can possibly imagine, even for a lineup of conservative politicians. Like Paul Ryan, all of the problems and all of the solutions he references are so painfully generic that they could have been dispensed from a political gum-ball machine. This, again, has become the overarching similarity between all the big, "upcoming" Republican pols.
On the other hand, the crowd does particularly love a quick bit of talk of the end of "seniority" and other whittlings away of "collective bargaining" powers. (Walker tells the story of a teacher he met who was recently laid off, because as the one of the last teachers hired she was one of the first to go; his outrage is not that there were layoffs of teachers, but that she in particular was laid off, as opposed to some unnamed other teacher who presumably deserved it more.
Callista Gingrich up next. She is just as unnerving-looking in person as she is on the big screen. She has big, wide eyes, and when she is nervous during her speech she opens them up even wider, like two fishes gulping for air. Still, it is hard not to feel for her. She may be a dedicated political spouse or a reluctant one, but as she leaves the stage she seems profoundly glad to be done with it. She introduces Newt, of course. Sigh.
All right then, fine: Newt then tells a long candle-and-lightbulb story that is perhaps worth seeking out because it is vintage Newt. It is pro-science, but completely roundabout and ass-backwards on every point. The audience here is polite, but perhaps bored with the appearance of Professor Gingrich, and people begin checking their iPhones and schedules the longer he goes—though they do briefly come around when he says that during the last forty years, the Republican Party "has learned nothing."
Straight up? Newt Gingrich is too smart for this crowd. I don't mean that in a good way.
Michele Bachmann gives her usual loud, breathless speech. Bachmann is the sort of person who can give me a headache almost instantly. I don't know why. Maybe it's the aggressive speaking style, every sentence ending in an imaginary exclamation point or three, or maybe it is the utter insincerity in her arguments (that is, her willingness to lie about things.) At one point she says progressives hate progress, while "we are the movement that embraces change!" Oy.She tells her polio and Alzheimer's story again, saying Alzheimer's care will cost $20 trillion over the next forty years but be cured in ten, if we are willing: whether the crowd is willing to pay for such an effort remains unclear and unasked, as she then she says "we don't need a big government" to achieve these cures, and offers no other proposal for doing it other than saying "innovation" a few times.
Perhaps it is the early hour, or the parties last night, or a general sense of fatigue in general, but while all the big-name speakers here are welcomed with ample enough applause (Walker got the biggest ovation by far), it's not nearly the reception that would have been granted Rand Paul, or Paul Ryan, or even Mitt Romney. These people are stars, but not that kind of stars.
9:27 AM PT: Palin is up now. Now she's being treated as a star. Huge, huge ovation for her message to Barack Obama: "Now step away from the teleprompter and do your job!", she reads off the teleprompter.
9:29 AM PT: Adding, this is a warmer audience reception than any other speakers so far, with the possible exception of Rand Paul. And it eclipses Mitt Romney's by a fair bit.
9:43 AM PT: Palin gets a huge ovation as she walks off (her speech was full of red meat), holing her Big Gulp above her. Now even Rand Paul couldn't top that. Now Phillis Schlafly, who is still alive, is up, and the room drains again.