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I ask you to let your imagination fly for a while.  You've just boarded a flight going to a destination of your dreams.   If you have the inkling you can imagine you're sitting in business or first class.  Might as well make the most of your imagination.  The seat belt sign has just been turned off and you're cruising at 35,000 feet.  

Since this is my diary you can't have everything your way.  You happen to be sitting next to me. You reach for the Skymall catalogue in your seat pocket in front of you.  You notice that I'm looking through my copy.  We strike up a conversation about one of the items for sale.   We quickly both realize that each of us think shopping while cruising at 35,000 feet in a flying gas tank is the absolute best activity one can partake in as a credit card carrying red blooded all American.  We quickly begin an in depth shopping spree for the duration of the flight.   For this segment of the flight we're taking a look at dogs.

There is nothing a super-consumer won't do to provide comfort and convenience for their pets. Your Fido deserves the very best. SkyMall's selection of canine accessories is unsurpassed.

Let's check just a few of the many items available to make your dog's life worth living.

First off let's get Fido relaxed.  There is nothing more distressing than the sight of  a dog stressing from all the pressures of their dog eat dog world?  The perfect solution is the Thundershirt providing calming pressure to sooth and calm.

Next let's get your canine friend trained to poop in the right place!  No reason your dog should crap out the entire lawn.

With this dog training device you can quickly train your puppy to use a designated area.  Place the block down and watch it draw your pet (along with all the other pets in the neighborhood) like a magnet with its special scent that is irresistible to both male and female dogs.
For the couch potato who can't be bothered to walk the dog the Porch Potty is the perfect solution. Throw in the scented fire hydrant and you may never have to step outside with Fido again!
Having trouble keeping your dog in bounds? The PetSafe®  Wireless Receiver Collar keeps Fido trapped in up to a 3/4 acre area. And remember if it's PetSafe® it's also safe to strap on your Alzheimer's dementia suffering relative to keep them safe from roaming the neighborhood too!

PetSafe®  Bark Control Collars will likewise silence a yappy 4-legged pet or 2-legged relative in a safe and gentle fashion. You never have to listen to useless yapping again!

Make sure your pooch can step up to the best seat in the house with PupSTEP Stairs.
If your pet is too feeble to negotiate steps to reach couches and chairs the combination pet ramp and staircase is the perfect solution.
Don't like the idea of  your dog jumping on the furniture? PetSafe's® Scatmat® teaches them good manners by gently prodding them off with low-voltage inducement. Having trouble with guests overstaying their welcome? Use ScatMat® to gently prod them into leaving too!  Yours for only $79.95.
Why not give your dog its own couch more comfortable than the one you lay on!  Now you can with the Comfy Couch Dog Bed.  Yours for just $99.95!

To give your dog a unique resting option how about a pair of matching PetCrate end tables complete with chew-proof metal bars. Buy the pair for a mere $500.00.

Do your barkers just hate laying around in wet grass? Our elevated dog bed keeps them comfortable and dry.
How about the Elevated Dog Bed with shade for extra luxury?
Can't stand the thought of not having your hound dog around to hound you?  Your problem is solved.
PetSafe®  also offers a wide selection of dual function pet fountains. Use any of these all year long for your pets drinking pleasure. For that special Drunks Can Still Drink After They Drop party these fountains offer continued beverage access long after the ability to stand has been lost.
Does your dog have halitosis breath?  Do you?  That could be a real problem.  Fix the problem withTropiclean fresh-breath products. They will eliminate periodontal disease without the need for brushing in just 30 days!
Because you love your dog you need to know your mutt's lineage. Help answer this question with the Wisdom Panel® Insights ancestry report available for just $69.99.
You've just about got your dog's problems licked but you still need one more item.   Give a Lick! Receive a Lick!
 Let your imagination run wild and give your dog a real treat (and maybe yourself) with LicketyStik® Disclaimer:  LicketyStik® cannot be held liable for any injury due to bites. Owner assumes all risk.

Damn, where is that bite training program?

****

Super-consumerism is a major problem in the United States and increasingly in the rest of the world.  The above post takes a humorous poke at this serious problem.  Consumption is inescapable for survival.   Capitalism is a great economic system capable of providing much in goods and services.  Our Church reminds us that capitalism is a great system to produce anything that people can be convinced to buy.  It is a terrible system to conserve.  We can no longer produce and consume all that we want that capitalism can provide.  It is not sustainable.   As followers of the Church of the Holy Shitters we strive to practice Soft and Fluffy Consumerism. This means we look at things from a waste-end perspective before deciding to purchase any product.  What we buy and how we spend our money matters!  For more detailed discussion of this issue please read this article on decrapulation.

Other related articles:

Consumer Diarrhea - America's Disease!

Commandment # 6 - Thou shalt not buy unnecessary shit.

Ass-backward Consumerism

The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It's Thursday)  

Last week:  12/26/13 - SkyMall Shopping - Cats

Next week:  1/9/14 - Commandment #8 - Thou Shalt Conserve Shit: A Closer Look

Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate,  deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.  

Remember:  "If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit." ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)
Church of the Holy Shitters
Originally posted on http://holyshitters.com/
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Comment Preferences

  •  I agree completely *but* (7+ / 0-)

    there is more crap for children then our pets. And they will consume and waste far more then my dogs.

    "Down with sodomy, up with teabagging!" Sign @ TeaBilly rally.

    by pitbullgirl65 on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 11:11:32 AM PST

  •  I myself (4+ / 0-)

    was in the mood to roast a whole chicken this evening. Yet I'd heard so many horror stories recently about diseased, hormone-addled chickens, raised in appalling factory conditions, I went and paid double at one of these Grocery Stores for the Discerning Yuppy (TM) for what a whole raw fryer of the same weight would cost at the supermarket. "I don't do this often," I rationalized, "Anyway, I'm going to get several meals out of it."

    They are making a killing, getting me to buy something I otherwise wouldn't, and making a bundle off it. That's "consumerism" right there.

    I still believe all the worst stories about factory-farmed chickens. I still want to buy right, to protect human health and the environment. They "get" me on my need for convenience, including my aversion to real activism in this area.

    Thanks for the diary.

    It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

    by karmsy on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 12:50:40 PM PST

    •  There are a whole host of items we buy today (4+ / 0-)

      because of marketing, environmental degradation or convenience  that our ancestors would think stupid in their lifetime. (i.e. bottled water, air freshener, air filters, artificial coloring/flavors, tanning sessions.)  

      This use of antibiotics and growth hormone in livestock/poultry is scary.  So is genetically modified anything IMHO.  

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 01:24:47 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Most of these, at least, I wouldn't go near. (3+ / 0-)

        The occasional "premium" food item--because the hoi polloi mass-produced version is so disgusting these days--is another story.

        Clearly, if I had the time and energy to spare--I don't--I'd engage in activism to reform the whole poultry industry. Everyone could be eating healthier product, at a lower price.

        It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

        by karmsy on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 01:32:14 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  ... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    John Crapper, pitbullgirl65, bwren

    I have the steps and ramp, although I didn't pay nearly that much.  I had an older heavy dog that needed help getting in the car for vet visits and I live alone and couldn't pick her up by myself.  I had to put her to sleep last fall because of multiple issues that took away her quality of life, but those steps and ramp helped her up until then.  

     Also, many people use crates to keep pets from destroying the house or hurting themselves while no one is home.  I don't have to do that, but I understand why some people need them.

    The prices in that catalog are ridiculous, but some of the products have a legitimate use.  I live on a modest paycheck but like to give my rescue pets the care they deserve and find the best prices for products they need.  They don't wear cutesy outfits or rhinestone collars, but if they need something for their health or quality of life, I will try to get it.

    I wear inexpensive clothes forever, drive a 2001 car and haven't had a vacation in years.  If I choose to spend some money on my pets, I don't think that is going to run the country into the ground.

    •  Your doing your part. We all make judgements (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      pitbullgirl65

      on what we deem necessary and useful to purchase.  I just am trying to humorously point out that it's a good thing to think before purchasing items.  

      I would never think of using an electric shock product to train my dog  to stay off the furniture or keep within a defined space just as I would never put a shock collar on a human being.   Jus saying....

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 02:54:20 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Just sayin'... (0+ / 0-)

    I'm guessing you didn't write this with pencil and recycled paper.

    If you're a guy, you've probably got waaayyy too much new electronic shit, a car you don't really need, and/or an upscale bike where a beater would suffice.

    If you're a gal, I'd bet you've got waaayyy too many shoes, more than enough clothes, and an upcoming appointment for your hair and nails.

    Either way, you probably dine out waaayyy too frequently, purchase prepared and packaged foods, and couldn't cook "from scratch" if your life depended on it. Urban gardening might require you to get your hands dirty, so that's not an option. (I think I'm safe in assuming you're not exactly the rugged "let's go live on an organic farm" type.)

    My advice is to stop being a wise-ass picking on easy targets like lonely people's obsessions with their pets, and start trying to provide useful advise/information as to how to real people can live a more sustainable life.

    In their eyes there's something lacking; what they need's a damn good whacking.

    by Mad City 67 on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 02:25:28 PM PST

    •  I guess you didn't see the humor tag (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      citisven, pitbullgirl65

      or appreciate mine.  Take a deep breath, laugh, and don't take life so seriously.

      I'm very comfortable with the level of my environmental activism/actions.  I believe in balance in life.

      The point I'm trying to make when you make is think before you buy no matter what it is.  

      "Wag more, bark less."  

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 02:50:22 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  He's not picking on pet owners (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      John Crapper

      I thought he was at first (because I've heard these arguments before) but he's not.  

      If you're a guy, you've probably got waaayyy too much new electronic shit, a car you don't really need, and/or an upscale bike where a beater would suffice.
      If you're a gal, I'd bet you've got waaayyy too many shoes, more than enough clothes, and an upcoming appointment for your hair and nails.
      Oh come now: you don't believe these ridiculous limiting stereotypes do you?  This is how corporations market to us: convince us we need something in order to be popular, better looking, happier etc.

      "Down with sodomy, up with teabagging!" Sign @ TeaBilly rally.

      by pitbullgirl65 on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 03:33:33 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  LOL, great catches! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    John Crapper, pitbullgirl65

    But I didn't see the item that was on another diary about some sort of collar that helps your dog line up with magnetic north so that they'll take a dump in the proper orientation. 8^)

    Years ago I bought a set of steps so that my Pug could climb up onto the couch or the bed, she refused to use it.......  

    “that our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions in physics or geometry.” Thomas Jefferson

    by markdd on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 02:43:30 PM PST

    •  Thanks for appreciating my weird sense of (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      markdd, pitbullgirl65

      humor.  When reading about our environmental problems and trying to influence environmental sanity it is important to step back and find the humor in things.  It's important to laugh.  Plenty of gloom and doom out there.

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Jan 02, 2014 at 02:59:29 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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