Last night, Jon Stewart had on Larry Wilmore to give out the 1st Annual Wilmore Awards for breaking down racial barriers that no one was asking anyone to break.
JON STEWART: Now this week, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. As always, an occasion to pause and assess how far that we've come in terms of race relations. For more, we're joined by Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore. Larry, thank you so much for joining us. Very nice to see you. On this auspicious occasion, Larry, how far have we come in race relations?Video below the fold.
LARRY WILMORE: Well, Jon, I think I can most eloquently express my answer in the form of an award show.
JON STEWART: Sorry?
LARRY WILMORE: Roll it, Chuck!
(montage of issues involving race)
VOICEOVER: Comedy Central presents the 1st Annual Wilmore Awards!
JON STEWART: The Wilmores? I've never even heard of it. The Wilmores?
LARRY WILMORE: Yeah. There we go, Jon.
JON STEWART: What is that, a wrecking ball there?
LARRY WILMORE: Oh yeah.
JON STEWART: Nice.
LARRY WILMORE: We're honoring the progress we've made as black people.
JON STEWART: Well that's nice. Isn't that actually what the NAACP Image Awards are for?
LARRY WILMORE: Pfft! Please, Jon! Have you seen how many white people are nominated for black image awards this year? Justin Timberlake, Dallas Buyers Club, Modern Family, Robin Thicke? Though I will admit, "Blurred Lines" is a pretty inclusive video.
JON STEWART: Mm-hmm.
LARRY WILMORE: And Dr. King is on record saying, "I have a dream that one day black girls will dance naked with white girls!" (audience laughter)
JON STEWART: Yeah, I don't think Martin Luther King said that.
LARRY WILMORE: Doesn't mean he didn't dream it. (audience laughter and applause)
JON STEWART: So, and this is the wrecking ball, yes?
LARRY WILMORE: Yes, this is the wrecking ball right there, it's very nice.
JON STEWART: Very nice.
LARRY WILMORE: Yes, thank you very much, Jon. I designed it myself.
JON STEWART: It's very nice.
LARRY WILMORE: Thank you. Now, the Wilmores honor outstanding achievement in breaking down barriers that nobody asked you to break! And the first ever Wilmore Award goes to... the NAACP Image Awards. (audience applause)
JON STEWART: Oh nice, very nice.
LARRY WILMORE: For giving black artists another chance to lose to white nominees, at the very ceremony invented to honor black artists.
JON STEWART: I get the sense the Wilmore will not be a coveted award.
LARRY WILMORE: Of course it is, Jon. I know you want it.
JON STEWART: No I don't.
LARRY WILMORE: Now, the next Wilmore is the "I'm So Color Blind, I Don't See Black People" Award. It goes to Giant grocery store in Washington, D.C., for welcoming students back to Howard University, a historically black college with this ad.
So... the message is, hey brothers, order a pizza, you get a free white woman? (audience laughter)
JON STEWART: But isn't being color blind a good thing?
LARRY WILMORE: Well, when there's nobody around but black people, that's not color blind, that's just blind. Now, the next award category is Outstanding Achievement in Victim/Oppressor Role Reversal.DON LEMON, CNN (1/20/2014): Sarah Palin has a message for President Obama on Martin Luther King, Jr., Day. ... Palin wrote on Facebook, "Mr. President, in honor of Martin Luther ing, Jr. and all who commit to ending any racial divide, no more playing the race card."(disgusted audience response)
LARRY WILMORE: Ohh! Jon! What an amazing performance! Oh my God! (audience applause) But think about what she did, Jon, to pull the racial victimhood switcheroo on MLK's birthday!
JON STEWART: That's beautiful. I have a feeling Sarah Palin is gonna win a lot of these bad boys, and she's gonna be like the Meryl Streep of the Wilmore Awards, I think.
LARRY WILMORE: I don't get it.
JON STEWART: You know, like a talented person who wins a... I mean, the Angela Bassett of....
LARRY WILMORE: Ah-hahaha! That's funny! Haha, now I get it. That was a funny joke. That's funny! That's good. (audience laughter) OK, now onto the major boundary breakers. Next is the award for White People Who Think It's OK Now for Them to Use the N-Word. And the winner is... Madonna.
JON STEWART: Oh!TALK SHOW HOST (1/21/2014): Madonna posted a picture of her son Rocco boxing, and the caption was, "Momma said knock you out! #dis[n-word]".(audience groans)
LARRY WILMORE: OK, listen up, Madonna. Adopting a black kid isn't like getting a flu shot. It doesn't inoculate you from using the phrase "dis nigga".
JON STEWART: I mean, if that's what she calls the white kid, what does she call her two adopted children from Africa?
LARRY WILMORE: I dunno, "dose niggas"? (audience laughter and applause)
JON STEWART: Oh, oh! Or maybe she calls them....
LARRY WILMORE: Shhh! Shhhhhhh!!!
JON STEWART: Right, I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?
LARRY WILMORE: No, no, no, Jon, it's just time for the moment of silence for the racists we lost this year.
JON STEWART: Oh.
(quick list of names scroll by)
JON STEWART: So that's where we are. On the week of MLK's birthday.
LARRY WILMORE: Yep, that's where we are, Jon. Now look, we've made some great strides towards racial harmony, but it's still discouraging that a black man can't get passionate about something he's worked hard for his entire life without a bunch of anonymous racists on Twitter unleashing a niggalanche of insults.
Until that changes, I'll keep giving these out.
JON STEWART: Well, Larry, that's appropriate, and let's hope our society undergoes a kind of niggalution, if you will. Hopefully, that will... hopefully, that will change things.
(Larry slides award towards Jon)
(massive audience laughter and applause)
LARRY WILMORE: Congratulations.
JON STEWART: Thank you. Larry Wilmore, everybody. We'll be right back.