Louisiana Rep. Vance McAllister, R, invited Willie Robertson, a character on [Duck Dynasty], to be his guest at tonight's annual speech on Capitol Hill.Duck Dynasty, of course, being the new conservative cause célèbre after patriarch Phil favored America with his opinions on gay people and how black people were always a-smilin' during the days of Jim Crow. This, in turn, forced various people like you and me to give a momentary s--t about Duck Dynasty, a moment which has now officially lasted too damn long.
"I am proud to have my close friend, constituent and small business owner, Willie Robertson, attend tonight's State of the Union Address as my special guest," McAllister said in a statement. "Willie is thankful for this opportunity and honored to attend. I look forward to the two of us representing the Fifth District in DC this evening and bringing some diversity to our nation's capitol."
I have some questions as to whether multimillionaire reality television stars really match the traditional definition of "small business owner," but we probably shouldn't bother. Conservatives seem to get most of their ideas about how America works from reality television, either from watching it or, better, appearing on it. (Oh, Palin family. Why?) If being a radio shock jock is enough to earn you credentials as a conservative thought leader, being a reality TV star is probably a close enough representation of what owning a "small business" might be like.
Still a better guest than Sean Hannity. And yes, that too is a thing.