I woke up this lazy Saturday morning and checked out the Twitter feed and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a Scientific American Tweet about Conservation Group Seeks Protection for Endangered Crayfish, Gets Newly Discovered Species as a Bonus. Now normally you'd think that this would be a generally good finding (or at least neutral depending on how you view your freshwater crustaceans). Ah, but there you would be wrong.
It seems that some intrepid laissez-faire culture warrior, Trumandog22, opines in response to said article claiming that there are entirely too, too many species being offered up by an outfit called the Center for Biological Diversity, or CBD (a pinko name if ever I heard one). They proposed governmental protection of the Big Sandy crayfish and the Fish and Wildlife Service is actually going to do it! So upon much intense internal debate on my part, I decided to become a fellow Supply Side Warrior and take up my pen (or keyboard in this case) to join in battle against such eco terrorists and other forces of the "left" in this country who would gladly sacrifice our nations energy security and economic future, all to save a few mudbugs. Don't that beat all?
So here's to you Trumandog22! You surely made a believer out of me! I'm with you oh noble gladiator of the right. Let my lines below be my cry that I too am Spartacus.
Yeah!! Leave the coal and petrochemical industries alone. Isn’t it bad enough that they don’t get enough in governmental subsidies for killing off all life on this planet. You can’t expect them to bother with just one or two species at a time. That’s just not good time management! A tragic misallocation of resources if I ever did see one. They may be going after the low hanging fat slow bunnies but this country needs a major paradigm shift concerning coal (and if I’ve left out any other brain dead management babble in there, it was completely unintentional).
Shame on the CBD for bringing this paltry complaint to the government/public’s attention, for shame! After all, they are besmirching a new growth industry: “Clean” Coal. You know, that magical substance that only looks absolutely dirty and filthy at first glance because some people have the nerve to insist on drinking potable water. Where’s that old ‘Mericun, take one for the team, spirit that made literally dozens of families in this country, quite literally, stinkin’, filthy, F’ing rich. What’s a few community cancer clusters when compared to the glory and enrichment of the few. (Plus I’ve heard, now this is just between you and me so keep it under your hat, but I’ve heard that getting anthracosis is the closest thing to a paid vacation for that malingering coal miner crowd. Always looking for ways to stick it to “the man”. They came for the company stores, and I said nothing.)
This is a Big Picture sort of thing here. You certainly don’t expect sixth generation trust fund Jody to go out and get a real job do you? They don’t teach “do you want fries with that, at Exeter. And nor should they have to. Not when Big Daddy “Clean” coal still has a mountain or three to mow down. And all this fuss over a couple of crayfish?!? Why they must be Cray, Cray! (Pun intended. Like it? I hear the kids using it.) Hell, if all they want is crawdads, just go on down to Louisiana. They’ll serve you up all the freshwater mudbugs you can eat; go ahead, they’ll make more, all you want. Endangered species my Aunt Fanny! Remember to suck the heads!
It’s pinko outfits like the CBD that are trying to give birth defects a bad name. The “Clean” coal corporations of ‘Merica are just ecological populists trying to let more people get a better view of America’s beautiful mountain ranges by knocking off the top of a few of them that are standing in the way. So as the people can sees ‘em better. A “forest from the trees” sort of thing. A little off the top, so to speak.
So let us all collectively get up off the bumper of the “clean” coal industry once and for all. Let ‘em bring in their mountain sized bush hogs and top our way to “Merican energy independence and prosperity. After all, ain’t we the Saudi Arabia of coal. And no more of a proud comparison that is to be sure.