Les Beastiables ("Les Bez"): Beasties say the darnedest things!
Today's Beastiable, as some of you may have predicted, is Donald Orangutrump. Thanks are due to Jen Hayden for alerting me that
Trump is running for President again. His recent announcement for President produced nonsensical babble for about an hour. Certainly several things that he is saying now and has said in the past are beastly enough that he has earned his turn as one of Les Beastiables.
NOTE: This series features a new Les Beastiables cartoon every Wednesday about 1:30-1:45 PM Eastern. We indulge in a little Franglish because the French are tres classy. But I digresse.
For serious source information, please join me below the orange squirming of beasties on the hot seat. Then I don't if you consider orangutans cute, but I'll have a few for you anyway.
Please join me for what I call The Art of the Blowhard with a soupcon of fearmongering:
From Time Magazine's transcription of The Donald's announcement babble:
Thousands of people here to see me... great... Trump Tower... wonderful city, New York... Our country is in serious trouble.. China... they kill us. I beat China all the time... The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else's problems... When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best... They're sending people that have lots of problems... They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people... it's coming probably -- probably -- from the Middle East. But we don't know. Because we have no protection and we have no competence... Islamic terrorism... They've become rich. I'm in competition with them... they took the oil that... I said we should've taken.... We have wounded soldiers, who I love... all over the place... And we have nothing. We can't even go there.... horrible labor participation rate... A lot of people up there can't get jobs... because China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs. They all have jobs... Our enemies are getting stronger and stronger... and we as a country are getting weaker... Obamacare... You have to be hit by a tractor, literally... to use it... I have so many websites... I hire pepole, they do a website. It costs me $3... politicians are all talk, no action. Nothing's gonna get done.... Republicans... they're wonderful people... They don't know how to bring it about... I like them... China is killing us... But you don't hear that from anybody else... they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen... Obamacare... Obama is going to be out playing golf... I have the best courses in the world... Obamacare... It is going to be amazingly destructive... I have a friend who's a doctor... It's a disaster... Obamacare... So I've watched politicians. I've dealt with them all my life. If you can't make a good deal with a politician, then there's something wrong with you... They will never make America great again. They don't even have a chance... I have lobbyists that can produce anything for me. They're great... we have to stop doing things for some people... it's destroying our country... our country needs a truly great leader... now. We need a leader that wrote "The Art of the Deal"... Obama... He's not a leader... He's been a negative force... all of my life, I've heard that a truly successful person... cannot run for public office... And yet that's the kind of mindset that you need to make this country great again... We have tremendous people... We have people that have no incentive to work... the greatest social program is a job... we're going to be thriving as a country... I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created... I'll bring back our jobs, and I'll bring back our money... How stupid are our leaders?... Our President doesn't have a clue. He's a bad negotiator... the problem with free trade is you need really talented people to negotiate for you... if you don't have people that know business, not just a political hack... I like China... I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China... But their leaders are much smarter than our leaders, and we can't sustain ourselves with that... our leaders don't understand the game... I know the smartest negotiators in the world... I know the overrated ones... the newspapers get buffaloed. But they're not good... I don't need anybody's money... I don't care. I'm really rich... that's the kind of thinking you need for this country... We've got Social Security that's going to be destroyed if somebody like me doesn't bring money into this country... all of the special interests... they have zero chance at convincing me, zero... Saudis... If the right person asked them, they'd pay a fortune... I'm the one that made all of the right predictions about Iraq... Bush... Rubio... How are these people going to lead us?... They don't have a clue... They can't even answer simple questions... This is going to be an election that's based on competence, because people are tired of... being ripped off by everybody in the world... I'm proud of my net worth. I've done an amazing job... I did a lot of great deals... now I'm building all over the world, and I love what I'm doing... I'm really proud of my success... I made it the old-fashioned way. It's real estate... one of the big banks came to me and said, "Donald.... Could we loan you $4 billion?" I said, "... I don't want it"... they give me whatever I wanted... I'm not doing that to brag... I don't have to brag... I'm doing that to say that that's the kind of thinking our country needs... We have losers... We have people that are morally corrupt. We have people that are selling this country down the drain... According to the economists -- who I'm not a big believer in, but... That's when we become a country that's unsalvageable... So, just to sum up... Obamacare... great wall on our southern border... Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump... I will find the guy that's going to take that military... nobody will be pushing us around... Obama... Second Amendment... Clinton... Common Core... it is a disaster... I can build those things for one third... Obama... I come in from different places, and they have the most incredible airports in the world... You come back to this country and you have... all of these disastrous airports... Sadly, the American dream is dead. But if I get elected President... we will make America great again....
***
Please join me in my mission to expose the stupid and ugly in our public figures. Beastliness remembered is beastliness held accountable. We will never forget. But we will have some laughs along the way. You may find other sayings by the same public figures equally as bad or worse compared to the beastly sayings I've chosen. In other words, your cringeage may vary. Please feel free to discuss. Together we
will hold public figures accountable!
Please consider this an open thread. Feel free to comment below on this or other topics and post your own links.
11:25 AM PT: I usually use an animal whose name starts with the same letters as the last name of the public figure. But does everyone remember the dustup with Bill Maher, where Bill on a late-night talk show was poking fun at Trump's insistence that Obama prove his citizenship with an original copy of the long form of his birth certificate; and so Bill joked that if Trump produced his birth certificate to prove his father was not an orangutan, he would donate money to charity? So Trump did, and then sued Bill Maher trying to enforce the charity donation? Thus I had to use the orangutan today.
CORRECTION: I need your help deciding what else Les Beastiables needs to be a strong seller, and the links I first posted in Comments don't work! I corrected them farther down the stream, but people won't read that first, so I'll place them here:
Les Beastiables Home page
Les Beastiables Amis (Friends) page
Les Beastiables Gift Shop
Also, if you would like to donate and become an Ami, it's been pointed out that there's no link! Please go to PayPal and ask them to send money to our group email at karlekonsultants@cs.com
Please try to choose the "send money to a friend" option so that they won't charge an extra fee.
All these links will open in a new window. Thank you!
CORRECTION 2: I forgot the cute photos! Not my most alert day, apparently. Have a mom and baby orangutan. And an orangutan swinging through the forest. I would say that I think that second one is Orangutrump, but I doubt he'd be so graceful.