I am writing this Wednesday morning in shock and disbelief—and to be honest, my faith in America and the American people is so shaken that I don’t know if I can participate in the electoral process again.
I am tired of being the voice of reason in a sea of insanity. I am tired of seeing people voting against their best interests. I am tired of facts being ignored, and the truth being twisted. Today, I am ashamed to be an American. I wanted to write an upbeat piece, full of optimism—but it just is not there for me.
I am sure as the shock of this election wears off, that will change. But at the moment, I need to grieve for the America I thought I lived in. One where country was put before party or self, because we can do so much more when we work together, toward a common goal.
If Donald Trump had run as a Democrat and supported the Democratic Party platform, I would not have voted for him. This was far less about policy for me, and more about who we are as a people. He is a vile, disgusting man. As someone who is close to a woman who has been the victim of a violent sexual assault, I could not and would not have voted for him. I would not have voted for him on character alone, and that is what bothers me most about this election.
His character should have disqualified him. He is the obnoxious guy with the open shirt and gold chains hitting on women 20 years younger than him on the dance floor, while his wife is at home with the kids. He is the guy who goes to church on Sunday, after hitting the whorehouse on Saturday. He is the frat boy who takes advantage of young women who have had too much to drink. He is the guy sitting at the end of the bar watching the Packers and complaining about that fuckin’ over paid n****r who dropped a pass. He is the guy who always has to one-up you—he always has a bigger, better story to tell. He has no moral grounding, no sense of right or wrong. He is everything we tell our children not to be—yet, my Republican (and some Democratic) friends voted for him. I find that difficult to swallow. I am very disappointed in them. I thought I knew them, I thought they were better than this. I thought they could see Trump for what he was: a sad little man who has to bully and belittle others to make himself feel big.
This is the man they elected as president. He now represents the United States of America—a man you would not trust in a room with your daughter, a man who refused to rent housing to African-Americans, a man who received one of his very few newspaper endorsements from the Ku Klux Klan. The same people who voted for Trump are the very same people who treated President Obama as a second-class citizen, and denied it was done out of racism. They cannot deny their racism now: they must own it.
When I was a young man, I joined the Army at 17 years old. I joined out of a sense of patriotism, that I should give something of myself to my country, to be a part of something bigger than one person—to serve all Americans. As many of you know from my previous writings, I served on the East/West German border for two years. I saw what a totalitarian government looked like. I saw a wall, minefields, and fences dividing a nation. I saw some of the worst of humanity. I also saw the best of humanity—race and ethnicity did not matter, it was how well you did your job that mattered. It was not perfect, but it was a far more equal environment than what we live in today. In some ways, I saw the worst in humanity, and the best in America during those four years of service.
Over this lengthy election, I have seen the worst of America. Our president-elect’s racist, misogynistic rhetoric, and the rhetoric of many of his followers, frightens me to no end. The worst parts of America, the ugly underbelly, are coming out into the light. I fear that we will be stepping back in time, to before the Civil Rights era, a time before Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. One of my fears: that the United States will become like Wisconsin, where our government only serves the needs of donors and hardcore supporters, while the wants and needs of the rest of the people go unanswered. Instead of the needs of the many being cared for, it will be the needs of a few. The rich and powerful will gain more power and more money. So much for my youthful naivete in wanting to serve my country, and to be a part of something bigger than myself.
While I cannot see the future, I think of the things that could be lost with the election of Donald Trump. Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and VA hospitals could be privatized and/or put on some kind of voucher. I fear that women’s reproductive rights will be rolled back 60 years. The Supreme Court, and healthcare for millions are lost, likely for a generation. I also think of what will never be: student loan relief, single payer healthcare, and affordable college, just to name a few. Then there are the things that will be enacted, like national "right to work” laws, a wall on the border between Mexico, the deportation of millions of innocent people, and the repeal of the minimum wage. I don’t even want to think about what will happen on the climate change front. I fear for those of other cultures and religions. In a country that is supposed to have freedom of religion, members of one religion have been and will continue to be ostracized. I fear Muslims have become the target of religious hatred, much like those of the Jewish faith in Nazi Germany were. The very fabric of this country will be shredded.
Russia may take the Ukraine and Balkans. NATO could become nothing more than a paper tiger. Diplomatic relations with our allies will be (if they are not already) severely strained. The very thought of a man who cannot handle a Twitter account having control of the nuclear codes is terrifying, and that will be our reality come January 20th, 2017—whether we like it or not.
I hope I am wrong about all of this. Maybe he will turn out to be a good president. But I am not holding my breath for that to happen.
It seemed important to me to collect the thoughts and words of a variety of people from across the country, and from a variety of backgrounds. I asked: Tell me how this election has impacted you, how it makes you feel, or what you see for the future. Below are the responses I received. Please, put your answers in the comments.
David R: I have never been more ashamed. I am in shock. I am regretting serving this country for 30 fucking years seems to be a complete waste based on this result alone. I risked life health and limb for 50 fucking million people who hate my very existence and the people I love.
Andy D: This election had decided this country as no other has. I personally felt encouraged by the voter turnout. It is now time for the people of this country to pull back together and do what makes this country special and that is to have a peaceful transition of power. I believe in this country and it's people. The idea of canceling friendships over political view points is outrageous to me.
Valerie M: I live in a predominately Republican area. Work today was uncomfortable. It was palpably uncomfortable. No one could look anyone else in the eye. Scared of each other maybe. Scared of repercussions no matter what side of the aisle you are on.
I think this is a religious thing. Which is ironic, since Trump never really voiced his opinion on Christianity (to my memory), he really only belittled, frightened, disrespected and disregarded other religions. That's not the same as respecting Christianity. Or is it? I think this country has gone to the religious zealots. I think the white, privileged, middle class Americans are feeling like they might not be at the top of the heap anymore and that scares them. They are not used to sharing, so they threw a temper tantrum in the form of this election in order to get their way. I think life as we know it is over. Many think that is good. Many think that this is the beginning of the end of the modern Roman Empire. I think I am scared shitless for myself, my daughter, especially my daughter, and the country's place in the world.
Sara N: I feel scared. I feel as if we have been set back decades. I fear mainly for my rights as a woman. I'm scared of someone else having a say over my health. I'm scared insurance coverage will get worse. I'm also scared that my LGBT friends will have their legal marriages taken away. I'm scared for people of different races being treated as less than equal. A good friend of mine married her Canadian husband a few years ago. It was a pain for them to get a green card. They literally sent in over a ream of paper, and numerous pictures proving they love each other. She is now afraid his green card could be taken away, and they will both move to Canada (that last part might not be so bad). As my husband hugged and consoled me this morning, I was waiting for him to say it was going to be okay. He never did, he is just as scared as I am. Someone said while everyone is tempted to flee the country it is important we stay. We need to stand up for our Muslim, Black, Brown, LGBT, women, and minority friends. We can not let the bad guys win.
Matt M: This morning I had to explain to my children that Hillary Clinton had lost the election and Donald Trump was elected as our next President of the United States. My nine year old daughter began to sob uncontrollably. Unfortunately she saw many of the vile political ads on TV and online. (Yes, all those political ads from google show up on our kids iPod games, and though I tried to shield my children, they saw many of them.) She was more afraid of the other kids in her class, who were enthusiastic Trump supporters. She was afraid that the other kids would make fun of her. She did not want to hear them spewing Trump’s hateful rhetoric, though many of these children probably do not fully understand what they are saying.
She also could see how much this election effected my wife and I. We were crushed. We were in total shock that people would elect Trump as the leader of the free world. As the father of two daughters, I fear what a Trump Presidency symbolizes for them; Will they grow up to be strong empowered women who fight against injustice as we have tried to instill in them? Or will they grow up in world where women are once again treated as second-class citizens where their rights are stepped over and their voices go unheard?
As a parent, we have always tried to teach our children right from wrong. To share when you have more than you need or when someone needs it more than you. To welcome people from around the world or around the corner. To stand up for what you believe in even when others condemn you. This is hard for me as an adult, it is even harder for a nine year old. We see our teachings shine through in her. For example, since kindergarten she has had a boy named Jacob who has Downs Syndrome in her class. They quickly became friends and she worked hard to make sure he was included in schoolyard actives during recess. It warms my heart to hear her talk about her friend Jacob and all that she does to make him feel loved and that he is not any different from any other boy in school.
I know the next few years are going to be difficult but I will continue to teach my children to love not hate, to encourage not tear down, and to be the best they can be.
Sheri S: I was a strong Bernie supporter and assumed the primaries were run fairly and impartially by the DNC. Following that contest as closely as I did, I began to suspect the party I'd been a member of for 45 years was completely corrupted by the corporate money Bernie railed against. People called me--us--crazy when we cried foul, but the WikiLeaks emails proved we were not.
Once Bernie was forced to concede, I knew in my heart that Clinton would lose to Trump. Her rallies didn't have the energy or the crowds behind her, but the media protected her from reality. She has always lost polling leads. Bernie out polled Trump by double digits. She was the ultimate Establishment candidate in a year of populist anger. I cried and grieved, and even went into therapy to process my disillusionment not only with the DNC but also with the corporate media, who boosted Trump and blacked out Bernie.
For my children and grandchildren, I knew I had to find a path to supporting Hillary, and I finally did. Trump just could not become our president, based on temperament and despicable behavior alone. But my soul suffered over that vote, knowing dishonesty and collusion had selected her long before any votes were cast. I despair that our democracy has indeed become an oligarchy, and that the inmates are now running the asylum that our divided nation has become. I am sad beyond tears at this moment and it will take some time for hope and action to return.
Eva C: Today I find myself mourning the dream of common sense and fairness over racism and hatred. This is not the America to which I swore allegiance. These are not the values of our country.
The American people have spoken; their word stings but I do not blame them. It was a voice that spoke strongly against the establishment and we are just collateral damage. The consequences will be felt by immigrants that are already in the shadows and by those of us that work to make things better for them.
I watched one of my young friends cry reflecting upon his shattered dreams of one day "belonging" to the nation that has seen him grow up. I heard children expressing their fear for their parents as they could face possible deportation. It is a sad day indeed. I feel afraid for the future of my country and my fellow citizens. I also feel betrayed by those immigrants that voted for someone that has hurt and offended us.
Tomorrow will be another day and I will find the strength to keep going. I will swallow my fear and keep organizing in spite of my disappointment. Today, I just needed a break.... Hasta la victoria!
Becky B: I went to sleep at 1:00AM Wednesday morning with tears streaming down my face. The pull was so strong to sleep with my daughter that I couldn't resist it. My fear for her future safety and security in the forefront of my mind that my need to hold her was unavoidable. I couldn't stop thinking of what this means for her and what I need to do to help her protect herself. What I need to teach her and my son about female bodies and safety and sexual assault and respect. I already have a plan for both of them. A much more aggressive plan than before because America voted that a woman's body was not her own.
Waking up the tears were worse because the realty set in even more. Because not only do I fear for my daughter's safety as a female as she grows but also for my niece's and nephews' because they are children of color. Our family has already experienced first hand blatant racism by none others than our police department here in Madison. Quite honestly the situation, while horrific at the time, could have been worse than the end result. But what I truly fear is this will get much much worse for them long before it will get better; I fear for their physical safety for no other reason other than the color of their skin and that fear will expand tenfold; I fear that they will experience hurt and pain that I will never understand and I can't protect them like my 'mama bear' instinct wants to. My sister texted me as said she will be getting a concealed carry permit as a result of this. That thought made me sick to my stomach. My sister is a well educated, strong, successful woman. But she has the same fears as me. And the 'mama bear' in her will do everything in her power to protect her kids.
The election was never about political lines for me. This was about human decency and character and safety and most of all acceptance. When I went to the polls on Tuesday I was making a conscious decision to vote for acceptance of all people and to take a step forward to make all people equal and safe. Unfortunately the majority of this country doesn't agree with me. And that is a hard thing for me to deal with. That I am and will continue to be surrounded by people who believe that white men should have power and control over this country and the people in it.
One comment I received, that was the shortest, and most succinct.
Todd W: One word. Broken
To those of you who said that the people of Wisconsin are to blame for Scott Walker, that we elected him three times, that we are stupid: I warned you, all of you, that this could happen to you. It just has, and now we have Trump. Now do you understand?