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Got any examples of tortured English to share?
Enough time has passed since my last word-slaughtering diary that (perhaps) it’s safe to venture into that territory again.
As before, I’ve prepared Three Paragraphs of Terror for your perusal. The atrocities herein were collected over a span of decades, some as recently as this week. Just when I think the well is running dry, more misused words ooze from the Aquifer of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
If I could waive a magic want, I would undo the last trip I took to Canada. I knew of a campsight beside a murmuring creak, in a valley where the views could not be beet. I buckled up, knowing that seat belts help prevent serious deaths and injuries. Suddenly a bare appeared in the middle of the road. I slammed on the breaks. I was to terrified too breath, because I knew that hospitals are far and few between.
But I stopped in time. Soon I was crossing into Canada. The boarder guards said that I was a security breech because I had a parring knife. I wanted to call a friend, but I was afraid they’d ease drop on the conversation. The situation was disparate. But finally they gave me a questinear to fill out, and then they let me go.
Being in descent shape, I decided to hike a trial near the campsight. I found a patch of moral mushrooms, and picked some for myself. It was against the rules, but I couldn’t tow the line. I told the ranger that my behavior was not aggregious, but he gave me a ticket anyway.
Now, the same Three Paragraphs of Terror, with the misused terms in italics:
If I could waive a magic want, I would undo the last trip I took to Canada. I knew of a campsight beside a murmuring creak, in a valley where the views could not be beet. I buckled up, knowing that seat belts help prevent serious deaths and injuries. Suddenly a bare appeared in the middle of the road. I slammed on the breaks. I was to terrified too breath, because I knew that hospitals are far and few between.
But I stopped in time. Soon I was crossing into Canada. The boarder guards said that I was a security breech because I had a parring knife. I wanted to call a friend, but I was afraid they’d ease drop on the conversation. The situation was disparate. But finally they gave me a questinear to fill out, and then they let me go.
Being in descent shape, I decided to hike a trial near the campsight. I found a patch of moral mushrooms, and picked some for myself. It was against the rules, but I couldn’t tow the line. I told the ranger that my behavior was not aggregious, but he gave me a ticket anyway.
Okay, it’s your turn. Pick yourself off the floor and join the conversation. If you have any favorite examples to share, bring ‘em out! And as always, this is an open thread. Changing the subject is permitted. There will be no pop quizzes or spelling tests.
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Thinking Fella and Ojibwa are organizing the third EPIC Glacier National Park Meet-up this year. Held on June 30 through July 2, 2017. Please see this diary for important planning details.
INTINERARY:
--Thursday, June 29th--
Welcome BBQ at 6:00 PM (at Thinking Fella’s campsite, so you can arrive hours earlier if needed) Food and drink completely provided by TF!!! Sundance Campground, 10545 Hwy 2 East, Coram, MT 59913
--Friday, June 30th—
Morning hike inside the park, destination group-decided at BBQ the night before, either Avalanche Lake or John’s Lake Loop.
Evening potluck BBQ at Apgar Picnic Area, inside the park at 5:30 PM. Prepare for incredible views.
--Saturday, July 1st—
Red Bus ride! We’ll all board a reserved 16 passenger bus at 9:00 AM, and ride up Going-to-the-Sun Road, the iconic road in Glacier! Tickets must be purchased in advance. Please contact Thinking Fella before 5/23 to reserve a seat.
Dinner at The Lake McDonald Lodge and then one-hour boat tour around the lake. Contact Thinking Fella for tickets.
--Sunday, July 2nd—
Morning carpool & drive north along the western border of the Park, to Polebridge, where we can purchase baked goods & sandwiches. We’ll then proceed to Bowman Lake for a lakeside lunch.
Adios Potluck/Picnic Sunday night, at Sprague Creek Picnic Area, north end of Lake McDonald.
Cell phone service is limited and often non-existent inside the park as is internet connectivity.
RSVPS
1. Thinking Fella
2. Ojibwa
3. state of confusion
4. jakedog42
5. MotherMags
6. MTmofo
7. Done4nau
8. Mhosz
9. Mrs. Mhosz
10. Maudlin
11. Mr. Maudlin
12. dsb
13.
MAYBEES :
woolibaar
Boise Blue
Mrs. Boise Blue
|
RSVPS
1. Bill in Portland Maine
2. Common Sense Mainer
3. navajo
4. markm667
5. vicki
6. vicki’s recruit 1
7. vicki’s recruit 2
8. smileycreek
9. paradise50
10. Ed Tracey
11. side pocket
12. Mrs. side pocket
13. Richard Cranium
14. YellowDogInGA
15. DebtorsPrison
16. brillig
17. mik
18. thatkid
19. K2
20. LuLu
21. moodyinsavannah
22. norm
23. Egberto Willies
24. Chris Reeves
25. Susan Grigsby
26. spedwybabs
27. Dee Austin
28. Pam Miles
29. Corrie Wikoff
30. Cindi Branham
31. Susan Higgins
32. jlms qkw
33. Larisa Thomason
34. evcoren
35. shermanesq
36. doggie269
37. jpup
38. Sean Wang
39. Steve Stearns
40. loggersbrat
41.
MAYBEES :
SanDiegoDem
JustOneMoreDad
Mrs. JustOneMoreDad
JustOneMoreDad’s kid
momomia
|
ORGANIZER: Send randallt a kosmail to attend
Latest diary: DKos Asheville Open Thread: Mount Mitchell Meetup
1. randallt
2. LamontCranston
3. eeff
4.
Asheville Meet Up, May 6th, 2017 with special guests Tom Sullivan, Former Vice Chair, Buncombe County Democratic Party and Matt Coffay, Democratic Candidate for NC-11. L-R: Gordon20024 , Joieau, Otteray Scribe, Matt Coffay, Elizawhig, davehouck, SteelerGrrl, SteelerGuy, Ashley, New friend, Tom Sullivan, randallt. Great job, randallt!
Spring 2017 C+J/Kossack Meetup! Saturday, April 29 placeholder
New England Kos, living large. In no particular order but a nice list of who was there: Northerntier, Frank, Simple, Vacationland, JBL55, Susan Grigsby, Michael Langenmayr (of Daily Kos Elections team fame), Nautical Knots, brillig, mik, Parsons Beach, Jim & Mom, rebereads, Ed Tracey, Jennifer, Knockbally, bluesheep, freedapeople, Common Sense Mainer and Bill in Portland Maine. Huge props, as always, to organizer, nhox42.
Special guest of honor: Bill in Portland Maine and his kiddie pool entourage.
NYC-KOS Represents! L-R: Avilyn (hiding), East Village Blue, kishik, Missys Brother, belinda ridgewood, theRoaringGirl, ericlewis0, Denise Oliver-Velez, sidnora, kathny, Design the Future, navajo and subir (In attendance but not pictured: joanbrooker (photographer) rubyr, MBNYC, Yasuragi, Bethesda 1971 & cohenzee) on Sunday, April 23, 2017 at Spitzer’s Corner.
Colorado: Monday Evenings, Michigan: Wednesdays, 6:00 PM Eastern, North Carolina: Sundays, 1:00 PM Eastern, Missouri: Wednesday Evenings, Kansas: Monday Evenings