I read a diary about a porn star getting raped so I would get mad. My country is committing genocide in Puerto Rico and locking babies in cages and I've been going around in shock. I had to get mad and misogyny always makes me mad. There tends to be misogyny when a porn star is involved.
I am a torture survivor, I suffered severe childhood sexual abuse and neglect. I had what is formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. I still dissociate a lot but after 18 years of therapy I am doing better. My last therapist explained that as a torture survivor my job is to be a human rights advocate so that is what I am going to do. I am going to advocate for sex workers.
A lot of people think sex work is dirty and nasty and should not exist. That does not make it not exist. That is like being a teetotaler and wanting prohibition. People still drank during Prohibition and Prohibition actually made the situation worse. People drink. People consume porn. People work in porn. People have to eat.
Porn was sometimes used in my abuse and sometimes not, but porn did not rape me, my family did. My family did not need porn to teach them how to be rapists. They were rapists so they raped.
As an abuse survivor, I simply did not know what to fantasize that wasn’t abusive when I first escaped my family. I got books on people’s sexual fantasies so I could expand my sexual vocabulary to include just regular old sex. If I hadn’t had access to those books I probably would still be thinking abusive fantasies and now I hardly have them anymore. I take my sexual pleasure very seriously. After having been so mistreated, I insisted upon having a pleasant sex life.
There are different types of porn and not all porn is violent. People use porn to wank. Some people when they wank like looking at visuals and some people like reading a story. Porn is fantasy for wanking. Sex is all about fantasy. There is a difference between fantasy and reality. Some people don't know the difference.
Telling people what to use when they wank is practically useless. Ted Cruz tried to ban dildos in the state of Texas. He was that threatened by female sexuality. People wank and use all sorts of things.
Honestly being abused made me feel about as relevant as a blow up doll. They might as well have been wanking.