From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Energize An Ally Tuesday
Concentration camps in America, huh. Gotta say, when I arrived in the world in 1964 I did not see that comin'. But here we are. Concrete floors for beds. Blinding lights to sleep under. No soap. No Toothbrushes. Minimal care. Shit for food. And zero concern among the modern American Gestapo that the reason these families are coming here is because they're fleeing countries in which they're treated even worse.
The good news is that the vast majority of us are appalled at the stories that are coming out of these camps, increasing our resolve to boot the monsters in charge next year. In the meantime, there are several organizations—some of which we've featured in our "Energize An Ally" segment before—fighting on all fronts to bring a mix of sunlight, relief and legal force to get Trump's bone spur-less foot off their necks. They all need our support, and fortunately there's an ActBlue Civics page that makes it easy. Just click here to spread your donation among thirteen of them. They'll appreciate it a ton.
Last year around this time Seth Meyers of Late Night closed an immigration-related monologue with words that are still relevant today:
“Something you hear a lot on days like today or days like yesterday is, ‘This is not who we are.’ But it is who we are right now. It might change tomorrow or the day after that, but today we are this. And you personally may not be this, but who we are is too often decided by those in power, which is why you vote. So remember: if you want who we are to match with who you are, you have to get up early and vote, next chance you have.”
We kicked butt in 2018. Now we need to do it again in 2020. In the meantime, we do what we can to let those inside the concentration camps know that the who-we-really-are’s know who they really are. Humans.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Scheduling Note: Later today we'll be heading over to a secret lab at the Eyecare Management Group lair where, under the glow of a single 60-watt light bulb hanging from a wire, a doctor will use a melon baller to scoop out my eyeball lens and replace it with a tiny seeing-eye gnome who will spend the rest of my life telling me what I'm looking at. Or, if he has one in stock, he'll just swap it out with a plastic replacement lens. So no C&J tomorrow. We're hoping to return on Thursday, and we'll definitely post on Friday. In our absence, please enjoy the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup, Elections Digest, and Good News post, which we've paid for in advance. Thanks for your patience. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til World UFO Day: 7
Days 'til the 24th annual New Bedford Folk Festival: 11
Percent chance that Vice President Mike Pence approves of withholding soap from migrant children locked in cages: 100%
Number of death-row inmates killed so far this year: 10
Number of times White House lawyers objected to questions directed at witness Hope Hicks during last week's closed-door hearing: 130
Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC) approval rating in the latest PPP poll of NC voters: 23%
Estimated percent of her time that U.S. ambassador to Canada Kelly Craft was absent from her Ottawa post: 50%
Totally Random Women’s World Cup Soccer Score
Team USA 2 Spain 1
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NEW Tuesday feature! "Packin' for Philadelphia!"
Brought to you by the 2019 Netroots Nation Convention in Philadelphia, July 11-13. Don’t forget that the pre-convention Daily Kos/C&J party is Wednesday, July 10th at Aqimero starting at 6pm, and we'd love to see ya. Details here in Neeta's post. To RSVP (we have nearly 75 so far), send her a kosmail here. As for today's nugget, it involves something we do every year—namely, check out the convention center and see how green it is. Happy to say, Philadelphia's is quite environmentally friendly:
The Pennsylvania Convention Center is committed to reducing the environmental impact of our operations and services by taking stewardship in using equipment and products designed to reduce negative impacts while providing a healthy, high-performance cleaning operation within our facility.
Our commitment includes the use of safe-cleaning products, reduced water use, energy efficient LED lighting, a new reflective roof, expanded recycling, and streamlined management of HVAC, lighting, power, elevators and escalators. Using technology to ‘go green’ is critical to our customers and our effort to sustain the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for future generations.
Plus it's LEED Gold certified, and that ain't chump change.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Trevor Noah with the real story behind those puppy dog eyes…
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CHEERS to the rumble in the urban jungle. As the first Democratic primary debate looms large with just hours to go before the big event tomorrow (round 1) and Thursday (round 2) in Miami, the candidates are in full preparation mode—memorizing zingers, taking practice questions from their handlers, balancing books on their head for proper posture, the whole nine yards. But what's it like—I mean, really like—to know that everything you've ever strived for has reached this moment, and failure simply isn’t an option? We asked our C&J 2020 political analyst Marshall Mathers to articulate what's going on in their world right now:
"Their palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on their sweater already—mom's spaghetti. They're nervous, but on the surface they look calm and ready to drop bombs, but they keep on forgettin' what they wrote down. They open their mouth, but the words won't come out.
They better lose themselves in the NBC News elections theme music, the moment, they own it, they better never let it go. They only get one shot, do not miss the chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime."
Also: don’t forget to practice smiling and make lots of stabby gestures in the air with your index finger. Essential skills.
CHEERS to late arrivals. Sensing that the current roster of 1,463 candidates in the Democratic primary just didn’t offer enough variety, another warm body with a pulse entered the 2020 race over the weekend. Let's check out his vitals:
Vice Admiral (Ret.) Joe Sestak
Hails from: Secane, Pennsylvania
Age on inauguration day 2021: 69
Primary campaign theme: "Accountability to America"
Education: Graduated 2nd in his class from the U.S. Naval Academy; earned his Masters in Public Administration and Ph.D. in political economy and government from Harvard.
Official website: JoeSestak.com
Strengths: Won best surface vessel in the Atlantic fleet competition while commanding both the U.S.S. Underwood and U.S.S. Samuel B. Roberts; two-term congressman (only the second Democrat to win the GOP-held 7th district since the Civil War), who ran on a platform of health care reform; deemed the most productive freshman member of Congress in 2007; first to write legislation mitigating the effects of the Citizens United decision; served as a professor at Cheyney University, the oldest historically black university in America; progressive agenda.
Weaknesses: Little name recognition; not the most dynamic speaker; entering the race really late in an overcrowded field.
Baby-kissing ability, based on reviews at Toddler Yelp: 9.1/10
He joins Kamala, Cory, Seth,Tim, Wayne, Michael, Elizabeth, Beto, Bernie, Tulsi, Julian, John, Andrew, Kirsten, Eric, Bill, Steve, Jay,Pete, Marianne, Amy, Joe, Mike, and John #2 in the 2020 race. There's virtually no chance he'll become the nominee, But I'll say this for him: if he ever gets a question from a voter about crankshaft torque dynamics on a battleship, he'll swab the deck with his competitors.
WHOOPS to pissing off the wrong people. On June 25, 1876, General George Armstrong Custer and his 7th Cavalry met their Waterloo at the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana. Moments after the shooting stopped, a corporal arrived on the scene with an urgent message from HQ: "Duck!" Fate is a cruel master.
CHEERS to the Wise Latina. Happy birthday (and blessings on your camels) to Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who turns [Hrffrffrfr] today. She'll mark her tenth year on the bench in August, and I think she's doing a helluva job. She's not John Roberts, who promised to be an impartial "umpire" but now walks every pro-business batter who shows up at the plate; or Clarence Thomas, the porn-addicted serial tax dodger with the foam-statue-of-liberty-crown-wearing tea party Stepford wife who's a walking conflict of interest; or Samuel Alito, the State of the Union mumble-grumbler who builds do-it-yourself underground star chambers in his spare time; or Neil Gorsuch, who never met a frozen-to-death man he didn’t love to throw the book at; or Brett Kavanaugh, who LOVES BEER!!!
So in honor of your birthday, Your Honor, we got you the best present we could think of: a summer off from sitting next to those weirdos starting next week.
CHEERS to easy layups. Heyyyyy!!! According to scientists, there's a giant, "mysterious blob" under the surface of the moon. Nobody knows what's under there yet, but I bet it's all our missing socks! Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Like, from all our dryers! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Cuz who hasn’t lost a sock and wondered where it went, AM I RIGHT? Ha ha ha ha ha!!! (And yet Comedy Central never calls me.)
CHEERS to gastronomical greetings. On tomorrow’s date in 1963, President Kennedy delivered a speech in then-West Berlin where he famously said...
Over the years many people have erroneously said that he was calling himself a jelly doughnut, but that is not true—he was referring to himself as a citizen of Berlin. Unfortunately, things later turned awkward when, after his speech, he said he was so hungry he could eat half a dozen Frankfurters and sent residents of that city scrambling to their cellars.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 25, 2009
JEERS to bubble-dwelling butt talkers. Come, let us tan ourselves to a golden glow under the illuminating brilliance of the neocons' latest pronouncements:
Former U.S. Hater of the United Nations, John Bolton, says Obama needs to directly intervene in Iran's affairs to show support for the protesters, but that the United States' ability to directly intervene was so weakened by Bolton's former boss George W. Bush that it would be an exercise in futility to try. He also said, "Can you hear the lambs screaming, Clarice," and "I before E except after C or when I accidentally drop the crayon from between my toes in my happy room."
Meanwhile, columnist Charles Krauthammer says it's terrible that President Obama referred to Iran's Supreme Leader as "Supreme Leader," even though Charles Krauthammer referred to Iran's Supreme Leader as "Supreme Leader" both before and after he criticized Obama for calling the aforementioned you-know-what the "You-Know-What."
This public service message brought to you by the Mothers, Hug Your Babies Often or They'll Grow Up to be Like John Bolton and Charles Krauthammer Foundation.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to singin’ in church. Four years ago this week, while eulogizing the recently-murdered Rev. Clementa Pinckney at Charleston, South Carolina's Emanuel A.M.E. Church, President Barack Obama paused for the longest time. You could hear a pin drop, it got so quiet. Was he too choked up to go on? Had he lost his place in his sermon? Had he, after consoling so many other audiences in the wake of gun massacres, simply run out of f*cks to give? Not quite. He was just winding up to deliver an emotional grand finale from his soul that would once again demonstrate why he’ll always be placed in the top ranks of all the presidents. Watch as the faces behind him light up...
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His successor, who doesn’t even know the words to the national anthem or God Bless America, has botched every attempt to comfort families who have lost loved ones to gun violence. (Up to and including slapping his autograph on giant photos of dead victims.) I guess if you want to show you have a heart, you have to…y’know…have a heart.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Perfectly groomed but underprepared: 5 reasons why Bill in Portland Maine lost to Markos Moulitsas in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool
---Russia Times
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