Well, well. That didn’t take long, did it?
The Daily Beast is reporting that everyone’s favorite cat abuser, alleged rapist and beard enthusiast, none other than Julian Assange, is squealing his little heart out to the Crown Prosecution. He has many things to say, apparently. Dude really doesn’t want to take a trip stateside, it seems.
The nugget that his lawyers dropped today is that some time ago he was approached by everyone’s favorite Kremlin Konfidante, Dana Rohrabacher, about a possible pardon from his frumpiness himself should he be inclined to participate in some light Kremlin disinformation. How nice.
I’ll let you peruse the article yourselves. (There may be a paywall, if so, sorry, but I’ll give you the gist in the spoilers below)
So, essentially this is what Assange is alleging, through his lawyer, Edward Fitzgerald:
Fitzgerald said a statement produced by Assange’s personal lawyer, Jennifer Robinson, included a description of “Mr. Rohrabacher going to see Mr. Assange and saying, on instructions from the president, he was offering a pardon or some other way out, if Mr Assange... said Russia had nothing to do with the DNC leaks.”
Totally normal behavior for a US Congressman (which I gather he was at the time) Asking for help in a Russian disinformation campaign in exchange for immunity. DA’s do it all the time. “I’ll let you off that GTA rap if you agree to serve as a KGB mole, Joey.” Think I saw that on Law and Order the other day.
Mr. Rohrabacher naturally strenuously denies any of this ever happened:
“I was not directed by Trump or anyone else connected with him to meet with Julian Assange,” he said in a statement. “At no time did I offer Julian Assange anything from the President because I had not spoken with the President about this issue at all.”
Oh, no, wait, he denies the President asked him to do it, not that he did it. I feel like there was a term for knowingly helping a hostile foreign country’s intelligence services. If only I could remember what it was… Oh, well, it’ll come to me I’m sure.
How this statement gets ol’ Rory off the hook is a question for the ages. Then again, he never was the sharpest tool in the shed, was he?
Now, Julian could just be saying this to get himself a nice cozy detention at the pleasure of her Majesty’s government instead of a scenic tour of America’s best “bleep you in the bleep” incarceration facilities. However his lawyer does go on to say:
...he had evidence that a quid pro quo was put to Assange by Rohrabacher...
Translated: “I’m the world’s most wanted hacker, of course I kept the receipts, you dimwit!” So it looks like we’ll soon be finding out exactly what was said in that meeting.
Naturally, The White House has deployed a tactic that is fiendish in it’s ingeniousness. Let’s see if you recognize it:
White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham on Wednesday denied that Trump played any role in the offer of a pardon. “The President barely knows Dana Rohrabacher other than he’s an ex-congressman,” she said in a statement. “He’s never spoken to him on this subject or almost any subject.
”We don’t know him, he just walked in one day and we let him stay to fetch coffee. We’re really parched here, people” I’m beginning to understand why Grisham doesn’t give any WH press briefings. When you struggle to meet the lofty standards of credibility set by Sean Spicer, maybe avoid the cameras.
Of course, this is far from over:
On Twitter, WikiLeaks’ verified account claimed there were more “bombshells” to come in the court hearing.
I have a feeling pants are being darkened somewhere in Washington as we speak.