Oh my does that title offend you? Why? Isn’t that what you seek? Surely you cannot be so colossally naive and culturally clueless as to not understand that would be our label, my label, the Democratic Party for all time, our opponents braying it with a million eternal voices: the *ussy Quitter Party.
I’ve had the fun experience of the last 30 days of those in the scientific community who make an amazing discovery, they instantly think it can’t be so and are sure there’s something wrong with their measurement devices. Watching Democrats and journalists recently it keeps happening, I cannot truly comprehend what has happened and still is, are my senses, knowledge, history and logic working?
As we all excruciatingly know they’re working perfectly well and still are, being labeled a *ussy Quitter Party member seriously, unbearably upsets me.
Especially since you stepped right on the beginning of my fun free phase of life. Whatever neurologically went wrong to make me vomit all day every 35 days for 22 years is now magically, magnificently gone, it was official Father’s Day, 2 years without being sick all day. I retire at 61 in 72 days and all is well and set, I finally get something of a free real life. Thanks for utterly ruining it by making me part of the *ussy Quitter Party.
Of course in all that time I have been an amateur essayist here with approximately 750 entries, around 40 times in the community spotlight and I guess the wreck list 15 times. Every…single…one of those works was a spit-out, a first draft that never took more than 180 minutes.
When all this is over soon I’m not going to knife you with a spit out, ho-ho-ho-no, now way my fun *ussy quitter friends, I’m going to get out my Lord of the Rings scimitar. Oh yes, and with a accepting, easy patience over as many days as it takes I am going to polish that scimitar essay, hone it to nanometer edge, make the diction glitter with the eyes of a ringwraith over all of the blade, motherfuckers, an acid subtlety and poisonous patience that is going to twist your bain over many years in ways you can’t even imagine. Doubt me? I know tough, agony and pain in many other realms you’re clueless about, of course you are.
Then you, me and everyone else are going to find out what I can really do as an essayist.
We all need something to look forward to, I thought I’d let you mark up your mental calendars. Such a pity to get out the scimitar right at the start of my new life, but as we all know we can’t choose what life thrusts upon us. At least I can enjoy this event, oh yes, I can be so very, very good with a blade.
Since I’m here on a personal level before I go I owe you all an apology for being such a snappish, combative boor over the last 18 months. I have been unable to let go of a bewildering event that smashed my life apart, irrevocably broke and wasted it, I’ll never know who I truly am or what I could have done, 28 years gone for nothing but lies. I’m sorry, If I can’t insert the control rods on that nuclear burn of rage I’m in trouble, but I don’t know how, I’ve seriously tried, so far I have failed.
So that will be me, Adam Schiff, a nuclear burn of rage that yields a glittering, scathinly sharp scimitar to make you pay for what you’ve done. You’re dreaming if you think you live in a world without consequences or that I’d forget.